You would think...

that as often as I do yoga that I wouldn't have an entire day when all I do is butt heads with Will...you'd think that I'd be able to go with the flow a little more.

Alas, you'd be wrong.

I'm better than I used to be, that's for sure...I yell a LOT less and I let things go a lot more...my mantra is "that's not the hill I want to die on today".

Last night Will kept punching the shower curtain while Michael was in the shower and I told him to knock it off; that's how water winds up all over the floor. He kept on (after an afternoon of questionable behavior) so I told him that he wasn't going to be able to watch the WWII documentary that the rest of us were planning to watch that night.

Naturally, he pitched an ungodly fit, so while Lee & Michael watched the video, I stayed upstairs with Will and listened to him rant. I settled down on his bed, closed my eyes, and just breathed. I felt suprisingly relaxed and not at all like yelling or anything.

Today was a different story...I started off by letting him watch the movie "Narnia" so that I could do primary downstairs and then make a few phone calls. It was an abbreviated primary...I skipped janu c, some vinyasas between sides, only held headstand for ten breaths, etcetera....I put on a Snatam Kaur CD that was exactly 60 minutes, and I had laid in savasana for about a minute and a half when the CD ended. Anyway, I had a pretty good practice, but once the movie was over Will was bouncing off the walls and wanted to do a one-man reenactment of the battle scene. He was so loud and rowdy that I asked him to go do it in his room. Finally I told him that he had two choices: be quiet in my room, or be loud in his. If he chose to be loud in my room, he would get the boot. His choices were laid out very clearly, but he kept on being loud in my room, so I hustled him out of there and shut the door, which sent him into another fit.

He is making me apeshit these days. Five or six times a day, we have a conversation like this:

Me: Will, I have already asked you not to do X. You have a choice: do X again and get sent to your room, or stop doing X and stay in here with me. What do you choose?

Will: But mommy, I'm just (fill in explanation for "x").

Me: I know you are. And I'm telling you that I'm tired of the noise. So, do you want to stay in here with me and be quiet, or go make your noise somewhere else?

Will: I want to stay in here.

Me: So what's going to happen if you do X?

Will (grumpily): I go to my room.

Me: And how many more chances do you get?

Will (grumpily): No more.

Me: So do you want to go to your room?

Will: NO!

Me: So what do you have to do?

Will: Be quiet.

EVEN AFTER all that, when I'm absolutely sure there is no question in his mind what the consequences will be if he doesn't follow directions, he STILL acts completely outraged when, after he does X again, I escort him to his room - as if he had no idea I'd do such a thing, and then he bursts into enraged sobs and accuses me of hurting his feelings. Today each of these exchanges ended in a shouting match. *sigh*

I am trying to let things flow over me...trying not to react to everything...but when it comes to Will, I feel like I need to have a firmer hand, that I just can't let everything go. I HAVE to react.

It was supposed to rain all afternoon ("all afternoon" = ten minutes), so after I got Michael from Spanish camp and fed them lunch, I took them to see "Surf's Up", which was cute, but not $19.75 for admission + $7.00 for a small Sprite and pink lemonade cute. The entire time, he was restless (not enough fighting/guns, I guess) and kept begging me for another lemonade.

This too shall pass...this too shall pass....give it six weeks and he'll be an angel, not a sociopath in the making....