No yoga. Cookies & crap food. And gag gifts.

Since I haven't practiced since Sunday (and that was a Bikram class) and there is no yoga in my near future, I might as well talk about food. Well, food and illness.

In the middle of the night Sunday, Will ralphed in his bed. UGH. I had a breakfast meeting on Monday morning, so Lee took Michael to school, went by his office to pick up some work, then came home to stay with Will while I went to my meeting and to Toys "r" Us (or, as Will calls it, Toys For Us) for the last of the Christmas presents.

At my meeting I had a latte and two plain scrambled eggs, and by the time I left there I was starting to feel a bit yucky. I thought I had bad indigestion or something, but couldn't imagine how from my breakfast. I ran my errands and came home so that Lee could go into the office for a few hours, then get Michael at 2:45.

By the time he got home with Michael, I had gotten in bed. My stomachache was getting worse and I was starting to feel nauseous. By the time Lee had fed the boys dinner, I was feeling achy and chilled and even more nauseous. I kept telling myself "if I threw up I'd feel better" but I couldn't get up to do it.

I slept in short spurts all night, unable to get comfortable, but when I got up on Tuesday my nausea was gone. I just felt very shaky and washed out. Monday morning, when I realized that I was going to be behind schedule due to Will being home, I emailed John and told him that I wouldn't be at Tuesday's primary series class, so he sent out an announcement cancelling it. I'm glad I went ahead and did that, so he could do something else with his morning, since I wouldn't have made it anyway.

I sat around for a while on Tuesday, trying to muster the energy to go to Target. I got there, got myself a diet coke, and did my shopping. By the time I got the boys from school, I was feeling much better. We got home and Will and I made a batch of the best and easiest holiday candy in the world, Almond Roca.

What we made was actually Walnut Roca, since that's the nut I had in the fridge.



This recipe came from the August 1998 Expecting Club message board at the long-defunct Parentsplace.com. I wasn't much of a member there, but I did print this recipe someone posted, and I've made it every Christmas since. It's super easy, very impressive looking, delicious, and great for giving. Last year I bought some chinese takeout-style boxes and filled them with almond roca to give to the kids' teachers.

You line a rimmed cookie sheet with heavy duty foil and spray it with cooking spray. Then you cover the cookie sheet with saltines so that the whole sheet is covered, breaking saltines to fit at the edges where a whole saltine won't fit. Last year I also tried this recipe using graham crackers instead of saltines and it turned out great.

While you're doing this, preheat your oven to 350 and melt together one cup of butter and one cup of brown sugar in a saucepan. Bring it to a boil and let it boil for about three minutes. Then pour the hot butter and sugar over the crackers and spread it so that they're all mostly covered. An offset spatula works great for this job.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven for five minutes. Watch carefully! The butter and sugar will be bubbly.

Pull the cookie sheet out of the oven and, working quickly, sprinkle 12 ounces of chocolate chips over the hot crackers. My kids love to help me with this part. As they fling the chips on, I spread them around, again with my offset spatula. The chocolate chips start to melt and I keep spreading until there is a smooth layer of chocolate covering the crackers. Then I sprinkle about a half cup or so of toasted chopped nuts on top - I've used both almonds and pecans. Slivered almonds are especially nice.

Then, if it's a cold day, just set your pan outside where varmints can't get to it, or else put it in the freezer for a while. Once everything has chilled and set completely, you simply lift up the foil and the entire sheet of candy will lift right up. Peel the foil off, break the candy into chunks, et voila! Easy roca.

Then today after school Michael and I made Monster Cookies from Paula Deen's Christmas Cookbook. The quantities called for in the recipe didn't really register with me until I we got started making them and discovered that the bowl with my Kitchen Aid mixer was not going to be large enough. What she calls for in her cookbook is double the amounts called for in the link to her recipe at the Food Network.

What I had to do before I added the oats was get out my extra mixing bowl and pour half the batter in, then pour half the oats and chocolate chips into each bowl.

Mass quantities aside, this is a tasty, kid-friendly cookie what with the evil green & red M&M's AND chocolate chips. It's peanut buttery and chewy because of the oats. I have a ziplock bag of them in the freezer, a small tin filled to give to a friend, and two large tins here at home, PLUS another container filled with cookies and roca to take to a family gathering on Sunday.



So after spending two hours dealing with monster (har) amounts of cookie dough, I was totally off my feed. I've been that way since Monday, and what I have eaten has mostly been crap. Monday I had nothing other than a few sips of coke since my breakfast. Tuesday morning I had a piece of toast and diet coke, then for lunch I had a little bit of chicken salad and a few crackers. My dinner was more diet coke, a few waffle fries (the boys had chick-fil-A) and some Trader Joe's peanut butter filled pretzels.

Today I had two pieces of turkey sausage and half a pumpkin muffin for breakfast, then when I ran home in between errands, I microwaved a piece of leftover cheese pizza and ate about two-thirds of it. I had a decent lunch, though - my friend Cindy had us all over for a really nice meal. She had appetizers, a lovely green salad, a poppyseed chicken casserole, steamed green beans with toasted pine nuts, rolls, a citrus tart with a gingersnap crust, and coffee, plus a "poinsettia" which is champagne, a splash of orange liqueur, and cranberry juice. It was so nice - she had out her holiday dishes, she lit the candles, the works.

Tonight at dinnertime I was too overloaded with cookie dough to be hungry, so Lee made pasta and sauce from a jar for the boys, and about 8:00 I microwaved myself a Hebrew National hotdog and ate it, bunless, standing there at the counter.

I have done nothing remotely resembling yoga, not even any stretching. I promised myself I was going to do some sun salutations at least, but I ran out of time.

At some point I have to go get a gift for someone in Lee's office. He has no idea what to get. What do you buy a Jewish Buddhist vegetarian who doesn't drive?

On a totally unrelated note, in the course of searching for booby prizes for the family Bingo game on Saturday, I have run across two items that I think are hysterically funny. One I saw at a gift shop in town:

Smoking Mittens

If I didn't think my mother would be highly insulted, I'd buy them for her. She has no sense of humor about her cancer stick habit.

The other item I saw at CVS pharmacy: Tater Mitts.

Omigosh! Is it the mere name or the actual product that is so funny? And who knew that handwear could be so amusing??

Trying to get my act together here.

Last week before Christmas, and the boys are out of school on Friday, so I've made myself lists and agendas for each day which need to be strictly adhered to. The last of the boys' gifts, teacher gifts, prizes for family bingo on Saturday, groceries and wine, all need to be bought this week. Tomorrow morning I have a breakfast meeting (PTA related), Wednesday one of my friends is having us all over for lunch, Thursday morning is a Parent Brunch at school and then a party in Will's room Thursday afternoon, and Thursday night I'm having friends over for cocktails and present wrapping. I wish I could add another day or two onto my week.

I have gone back and forth about practicing on Tuesday. Last week I was the only person for class, so John practiced instead of teaching, but he did his own thing and not so much of primary. I was kind of distracted, so not a great practice.

I suspect that if I emailed him and said I wouldn't be there, he'd cancel the class. However, I won't have any other opportunities to practice all week, unless I fit in a short practice at home.

I went to a Bikram class last Wednesday and again this afternoon, since the studio where I take hot classes is closed for renovation. I didn't make advanced primary on Saturday morning since I went out on Friday night and left Lee at home with the boys and a friend who was sleeping over. It didn't seem fair to go off again on Saturday morning, not like I felt like it anyway. I got in about 1:00, and about 5:00 Will got in bed with us. He was all on me like white on rice, and I was hot and thirsty, so I got some water and got in Will's bed by myself, and was just settling back in when I heard Michael get up, hurry into the bathroom, and throw up. So that was it for my night's sleep.

I managed some stretching on Saturday, but that was it. Actually, it was a nice day. Lee took Will out for a boys afternoon (hardware store, liquor store, library, and the neighborhood pub for lunch) and Michael lay on the sofa. I put on some quiet Christmas music and lit the fire and it was quite cozy. It rained off and on all day, which was also nice and much needed.

I did manage to start my holiday baking on Saturday. I made a batch of pumpkin-granola muffins for Michael's class snack on Monday, and I made almond-cherry bars based on a recipe for almond-apricot bars. I thought cherry would be more festive.



The crust is a shortbread cookie dough with finely chopped almonds. Part of the dough is reserved and sprinkled on top of the preserves. I used a jar of Bonne Maman brand cherry preserves. The buttery cookie and tart preserves make a nice contrast.

The original recipe called for fruitcake fruit to be finely chopped and added to the cookie dough, but, UGH. Honestly, is there anything more vile than that candied, garishly colored fruit found in fruitcakes? I think not.

The recipe comes from a circa-mid-70's cookbook I bought at Goodwill a couple of years ago for a buck.



I have made several recipes from this cookbook and they've all been successful. It's got all kinds of recipes: bar cookies, brownies, holiday cookies, slice and bake cookies, cookies for gift giving, you name it. Despite the predominant harvest gold theme in the photos, I guess that just shows that cookbook fashions come and go, but cookies are timeless.

Can somebody please explain Pokemon to me?

I know it's Japanese but...my knowledge ends there. My five-year-old has gotten into it lately. I ask my mom friends to tell me what it's all about, and they just shrug and look helpless.

I know the cards are for trading. Are they also for games? Are there action figures? Is it just a spinoff of direct to DVD movies?

This morning Will dragged out all the beanie babies he used to sleep with and call his "friends". He gave them all Pokemon names and had them smashing into each other with loud explosive noises. Whether that's actual Pokemon action, I don't know. But I assume there is some conflict involved.

The Scholastic Book Fair is at school this week. Will came home with his "wish list" which consists of The Pokemon Handbook, Avatar, a Pirates of the Caribbean novel (???) and, for something I might actually buy, the Magic Tree House: Monday with a Mad Magician. His teacher told me that all the boys were wish-listing Pokemon books or else things like "How To Play Nintendo" and all the girls were wish-listing Barbie books. I ask you, can Scholastic not do better than Barbie and Nintendo at a school book fair?

Second-day soreness is the worst. I put down my mat this morning and did some glacially slow surya namaskar a's, taking several breaths at each point. The hardest part was stepping back up to my hands! The tops of my thighs were killing me. (Sitting down on the toilet is worse!) After five a's and three b's, I felt a bit more loosened up and did part of standing, then sat in supta vajrasana (Bikram style) and baddha konasana for awhile. Then I moved my mat by the wall and did some headstanding. I've been playing around with the shift of weight between my arms and head, and also working on really pushing into my shoulders. If I can strike that right balance between my shoulders and the crown of my head, I can hold headstand for as long as I want, whereas if it's mostly my shoulders, I can only manage about fifteen breaths before I have to come (crashing) down. I have never used the wall before, but I wanted to be close to it so that I could play around with headstand without worrying about falling backward. Also, I am still learning to raise my legs into headstand without that little pushing-off motion from my feet. Not there yet! Again, I think it all comes back to upper body and core strength.

The boys have been bugging me to start baking cookies with them. It is hard to feel like cranking up the holiday baking machine when it is 75 degrees outside! I wore sandals today, for crying out loud. Maybe I'll make some popsicles instead.

Well, that was a crummy birthday.

My birthday was Friday. That morning my cat was killed by a dog (as I blogged about previously). What a shitty day. I went to Community Circle at school, a very sweet monthly ritual that all the children attend. They sing, and the grades alternate spotlighting different students for various things, and talking about their expeditions. The singing is my favorite part, but I was feeling so emotional on Friday morning that the singing had me sobbing into a tissue.

I had planned to buy myself some shoes for my birthday with a DSW Shoe coupon I had, and I went, but my heart was so not in it. Some friends took me out for lunch, and late that afternoon I went for a pedicure, which I enjoyed, but the rest of the evening I spent feeling very tearful for Max, and I had a terrible headache to boot.

Saturday morning I went to advanced primary as planned, but I felt on the verge of tears and very fragile the entire time. It was crowded and with a student teacher who for some reason focused on me for her adjustments. It's indicative of my mood that I felt very picked-on instead of enjoying the adjustments. John took over when we got to seated, and he picked up the pace, and then threw in some extra stuff which he loves to do, like at Navasana, he had us all get up and form a line, then do sets of lunges back and forth across the room. Then we resumed the series with ten Navasanas and some core work, then on through the rest of the series to urdva dhanurasana, which I could barely manage because my legs were so fatigued from the lunges. Then he wanted us to hold our headstands for thirty breaths, then lift our heads off the floor. I really felt unable to cope with the challenge. During savasana, I put my towel over my eyes and had a little cry, and then felt better.

Today I am sore as hell from all those lunges.

Yesterday my sweet friend Gwen offered to take the boys for the evening so that Lee and I could go out for my birthday, so we took them to her house, then went to eat at a place we really like called Brick Store Pub. They have tons of obscure beers, especially Belgian ones, and we had sandwiches and beer. I got a dark Belgian seasonal ale that was yummy, also 10.5%, so after one of those I was feeling a bit looped. I also had a glass of, I forget what it's called, but it Belgian ale fermented in the champagne method. Very different, but delicious.

We headed back toward Gwen's, and on the way stopped in at a wine bar for another drink, then onto Gwen's, where we hung out with her and her husband and split a bottle of red wine while the boys finished watching "Home Alone".

This morning I didn't feel hung over exactly, but rather toxic.

We drove to Macon late this morning to take my mother-in-law out to lunch for her 85th birthday at Longhorn's Steakhouse. I had an overpriced steak salad and in the process of stealing one of Will's french fries, I dropped a huge glob of ketchup down the front of my white shirt.

My sister-in-law and her husband met us for lunch. She makes pottery, and she said she'd make us a nice little marker for Max's grave, plus one for our dog, who Max is buried next to.

I am feeling much better, but I do miss my kitty. I keep thinking I hear his tag jingling on his collar.

He was a good cat.

We got him in 1994, shortly after we got married, from the county animal shelter. He had been taken there from a vet's office, where his owners had dropped him off, claiming he had eaten baby aspirin, then never returned to claim him. My sister-in-law and I picked him out, discovering that he was supposed to have been euthanized twice already, but had been missed. When we brought him home, we named him "Max", and he spent the next three days hiding in our guest room closet, peeing on the luggage stored there.

He adjusted to us eventually and we kept him inside, though we wondered about his intelligence when he began pooping next to his litterbox instead of inside it. The day I came home from work and found cat poop on our kitchen table, we decided he was trying to let us know that he wasn't happy inside, so we booted him out into our fenced yard, where he stayed.

We moved to another house where he lived out back with our dog, Shine, coming to join us inside in the evenings. There was a holly tree inside the fence that Max, when he was feeling frisky, would leap onto and cling by his claws to a low branch. One night, when Michael was a baby, he climbed over the wooden fence and was attacked during the night by three dogs and they ripped a hole in his side. He recovered after a few weeks, though he always walked with a limp after that.

When we moved to the house where we live now, we kept him inside until we got a fence built around our deck, then he lived out there, spending the nights inside the garage. One winter he slept for weeks inside a plastic trash can on top of a bag of pine bark nuggets. When we put down a couple of towels on top of the bag, trying to make his bed more comfy and warm, he quit sleeping there.

He was mostly indifferent to our dog, though occasionally he deigned to take a swipe at him with a paw. He was never aggressive with any other animal unless they messed with him first, and he never chased birds or squirrels. Time and time again I saw him sitting by his dish, watching birds eat crunchies from it, but he never even tried to catch them. Recently a possum has been coming on our front porch to eat out of Max's dish, and Max usually just sat there watching him eat, probably thinking "whoa, sorry about that ugly tail of yours, pal."

Last year he used up two more of his lives: one morning, he ran under the garage door after it had lowered past the saftey sensor, and the door closed on his back. He howled and tried to escape while Lee sprinted around to open the door again. Miraculously, he was fine. Then one day in the spring, he was snoozing under the neighbors' Japanese maple when two leashed dogs - one a big yellow lab, the other a rescued greyhound - came by. One of them slipped her leash and attacked Max, and the other lunged so hard the dog walker (who we knew) lost her grip on the leash. It turned out that the two dogs got the worst end of the deal, because their owner called me to apologize profusely for the attack, and said they had both needed treatment for multiple cat scratches! It took hours for Max to come out of hiding, but when he did, I swear he had a "yeah, I kicked some dog butt" look on his face.

He was about seventeen years old, and I was suprised that he still remained so spry. He spent most days snoozing in either a secluded shady spot in the summer, or a sunny spot in the winter, though he came around several times a day for loving, and was always around for breakfast. He had spent a lot of time lately across the street with our 89 year old neighbor, and she confessed to me recently that she had been feeding him canned tuna. He would join us inside in the evenings, and often I would find dirty paw prints on the toilet seat where he had been drinking out of the bowl. He also used to to splash around in his water dish every morning, getting himself soaked and wetting the area all around his bowl.



He was part Maine coon, part something else. We used to call him Big Max, because in his younger years he weighed about eighteen pounds. As he got older, he was extremely skinny, though he still looked fairly big because of all his fur.

He wasn't the smartest cat in the world, but we loved him.

This morning we let him in for some loving, and when he went back outside, and onto the sidewalk in front of our house, a dog on a leash attacked him, and, we think, broke his back. I didn't see it but Lee did, and Max was trying to run away after the dog let go, but was unable to use his back legs. Lee knelt down next to him by the sidewalk, and said after about a minute, while he was petting him, he died.

He was a good cat. We buried him in the back yard next to our dog. He still has his collar and tag on, so that when he gets to the animal afterlife, they'll know who he is.

Backbends and coffeecake.

I think I have started a new tradition for the fam wherein we kick off the month of December with festivities. That's the day we get out the Advent calendar, and the boys were all excited, so I got them each a Christmas book and told them we would go to the Christmas parade downtown. Since all this was going to happen on Saturday morning, on Friday I made a coffeecake to have for breakfast the next day.

All you real bakers out there, just go ahead and throw rocks at me because I made the dough in my bread machine. I love that thing! I put the ingredients in and plugged it up in the other room, and it mixed away while I had a glass of wine and made dinner. When it was ready, I patted out the dough into my baking pan, then topped it with a streusel mixture of oats, butter, brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg. The recipe called for nuts but I get too many complaints about them (Will says "they're too bumpy!") so I left them out. I put the pan in the fridge and let it rise overnight.

The next morning while it was baking I made a glaze of powdered sugar, half & half and a few drops of vanilla and drizzled it over the top while it was still warm.



Holy cow, it was good. The dough was barely sweet but the topping and glaze was a nice contrast. It's too bad I have to shun carbs, for the most part. I love to bake and this kind of thing, along with layer cakes, are my absolute favorite things to bake and eat.

The parade was okay. It would have felt more Christmassy if it hadn't been sixty degrees. The boys had a good time, not that you could tell by looking at them:





They look like they're in the waiting room at the dentist.

Since this is supposed to be a yoga blog, at least in part, I guess I should talk about my practice. I went to primary series on Tuesday, not having practiced (except for a Bikram class) since the previous Tuesday. What I lacked in strength, I made up for in flexibility. Maybe it was because I felt low energy that I just relaxed and did what I could.

It was the first time I got myself fully into garba pindasana without sustaining bruises on the insides of my elbows, and I did six perfect rolls around the mat then popped right up into kukkatasana. I also got myself into supta kurmasana. Then I had some great backbends. John left us on our own for them, and my first one felt okay on my lower back, so I pushed and pushed into my armpits. I stayed up for about ten breaths, then lowered onto the crown of my head. I lowered my elbows onto the floor and was able to clasp my hands behind my head, for the first time, after several weeks of attempts on my "good backbending days". Now I need to work on really pushing into my legs so that I can get my head off the floor.

This entry sounds kind of like it was written by my third grader. Lee has been out of town since Sunday and I'm feeling a bit stunted, creatively speaking. Massive doses of caffeine notwithstanding.

Caffeine intoxication.

I went to an hourlong Hot Power Fusion class this morning in the Hot room. It was super hot this morning, and I sweated buckets. Afterward, I walked over to Dancing Goats and got myself a large latte, because this morning I didn't brew a fresh pot of coffee. Lee is out of town and I just reheated a cup that had been in the fridge for about a week. So, good god. I am almost out of my mind with the caffeine buzz!

My friend Beth called when I got home and I was talking about a hundred miles an hour. I told her I'd overdosed on caffeine after a Hot class and she said "I'm hanging up now so you can go eat something." A nice benefit of all that caffeine is that I'm not hungry in the least! Whee! I feel like it's the night before a big exam in college!

Whiskey and cigarettes

HA! As if. I despise cigarettes and I tend toward foofy lady drinks like cosmopolitans and chardonnay. However, my voice sounds all raspy like I had a late night of debauchery, alcohol and smokes.

Since starting yoga a year and a half ago, I've never had anything worse than a tiny case of the sniffles, but I've had a tickly sore throat for about a week which has morphed into a gravelly voice and an annoying cough along with a tiny bit of congestion. Fortunately, I don't feel bad though it definitely makes me think twice before I yell up the stairs at my kids.

I felt bad yesterday, but that was self-imposed. The night before I went to a jewelry party, the kind of thing I despise, like Creative Memories and Pampered Chef or whatever. However, the jewelry for sale was actually beautiful, and I bought myself a pair of big silver hammered hoops, as an early birthday present for myself. Also I drank a bunch of wine. Someone had brought some wasabi almonds from Trader Joe's, and oh my gosh! Those things are the bomb.

Anyway, I stayed out until after midnight, then came home and got in Will's bed, since Lee was recovering from a stomach bug. I didn't fancy breathing in his germs all night. That might have been better, though, than trying to sleep while Will hogged the covers and said things in his sleep like "gimme back my bionicle!" and "I want dessert!" So I got about four and a half hours of sleep and all day I felt like ass. I met some friends for coffee in the morning before I had to go to a volunteer project (organizing a boatload of gifts for underprivileged kids in a church gym) with them, and right as we were leaving I spilled coffee all down my sweater. So I looked like ass too.

Last night for dinner I made the kids Kraft macaroni & cheese and I threw in a can of chicken. They were thrilled. Tonight I am making this Alice Waters pasta recipe that goes something like, put some olive oil in a pan. When it heats, throw in some minced garlic and a couple of anchovy fillets and stir until the anchovies are breaking up and the garlic is fragrant. Pour in some heavy cream and a can of drained fire-roasted tomatoes (or fresh if they're decent). Stir it all around until it is heated through, then toss with pasta (the recipe recommends whole wheat fettucine, though I will use low-carb linguine). Garnish with chopped flat leaf parsley and grated parmesan. Yum.

I haven't had much in the way of practice this week. I went to primary series on Tuesday, and instead of leading the class, John practiced with us, at a very fast pace. It wasn't bad, though I would have like to slow it down a bit. Wednesday morning I had errands to run and it was the start of ladies' holiday, so I didn't go to Hot Power Fusion like I normally do on Wednesday. Thursday I don't normally practice. Today I was expecting my parents to come by sometime in the morning, so I didn't go to the primary series class at the hot studio, though I've about decided that I'm done with that class. I did manage to throw my mat down and do five surya namaskar a's while my soup was heating for lunch today though!

I have been playing around a bit with the basic headstand in the last few weeks and I have discovered that allowing a bit more weight to rest on the crown of my head makes a huge difference. My problem has always been my fatigue at that point in the series, and I'm not usually able to hold it for more than fifteen quick breaths. Now that I allow more weight on my head, I can hold it for twenty normal breaths with no problem. I have not experienced any ill effects on my neck, either. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be done. Maybe the amount of weight that you allow your neck to bear is an individual thing. It sure has made headstand easier for me.

I normally practice on Saturdays but tomorrow morning is the annual Christmas parade in downtown Atlanta. It's a tradition, so I'm bagging yoga & we're going. Then we'll get the Christmas tree and put up all our decorations. I'm looking forward to it. Last year when we did that my sister-in-law was here and mixed up these champagne and vodka cocktails for us while we decorated. Without going into details, I'll just say that champagne and vodka is not a combination that works for me, and I'm glad that those won't be on the decorating menu this year!

Lord, deliver me from Your followers.

It's official, if it wasn't already: Georgia is one of the biggest hick states in the nation!

You know when the governor starts praying for rain, that he's run out of ideas. We had about ten minutes of rain at our house last night, so I guess technically his prayers were answered.

Meanwhile, a country club dweller in the northern 'burbs used something like 440,000 gallons of water in October. It's safe to assume that he's not practicing the "if it's yellow, let it mellow" philosophy of water conservation.

In spite of the drought, or perhaps because of it, the leaves around here are spectacular this fall.

This Japanese maple is next to our driveway:



These trees are two doors down from us:



This red maple is in our back yard (I took this picture yesterday, and it's even more brilliantly red today):



And this is the view up the street:



So when I posted last, on Monday, I stated that I had no excuses for not practicing at home Tuesday morning. When I left for my mammogram on Tuesday morning, though, I just knew it wasn't going to happen...that sense of urgency was gone. However, I did manage five a's and three b's, at least...I didn't even change, I just kicked off my shoes, pulled off the long-sleeve tee that I had over a tank, and threw my mat down. I also stretched out over my exercise ball, which I have been doing almost daily in order to get the kinks out of my upper back.

Yesterday I did a hot fusion class, and afterward worked on my backbending...John has been having us lower down onto our forearms and clasp our hands in backbend, and I couldn't quite get my forearms down the last time I tried. So after the hot class, I did a few backbends, then lowered, and my arms went down and my hands met, but I couldn't interlace my fingers. That backbending was hard on my lower back yesterday; I had to take a few ibuprofen when I got home.

Tomorrow is yoga for sloths, I mean, the ashtanga class at the local studio.

I feel like a real grownup now.

I'm going for my first mammogram early tomorrow morning. Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but since I have the chest of a twelve-year-old, I hear it won't hurt much.

Tomorrow morning's primary series is canceled - there is a yoga retreat and John says he has too much to do. Wish I were going on the yoga retreat - they're going to the Keys for five days.

Instead, if I want to practice tomorrow, it's going to have to be in my living room. No excuses.

Actually, I've been thinking that the purpose of the snails-pace Friday class might be to make me decide that practicing on my own would be preferable to having to pace myself alongside people who have never done yoga before, let alone Ashtanga.

We shall see. A sudden and intense desire to practice alone at home would make my life easier. Fake it 'til I make it, maybe.

My third-grader's teacher is out on her honeymoon this week, and my son and his friend are swearing that today's substitute was named - wait for it - Mrs. Butt. They promise they are not making it up. The one they had on Friday was named Mrs. Rocks. With names like that, they belong in a Captain Underpants book. To their credit, they said Mrs. Butt was old but that she was a good storyteller. But how perfect is that, a substitute teacher with a name like Mrs. Butt? Imagine the possibilities!

Jumping through & jumping back: Dream the Impossible Dream

The last couple of practices I've felt my chattarungas improved a bit, though jump throughs/jump backs seem a lifetime away. I dutifully lift up and attempt to jump back every time, though it seems that unless my arms grow a few more inches, it's not going to happen. My knees hit the mat halfway back, and I reposition my hands so that I can lift my legs up again and shoot them back.

My inability to jump back is probably related to a lack of core strength; my inability to jump through is probably a technique thing. I find myself moving my hands further apart in order to jump through with bent legs, so I am probably jumping more forward than up. I've studied David Swenson's photographs and explanations about floating, but I can't seem to make it happen.

I am also struggling with twisting to the left, because of increasing stiffness and pain in my left hip and lower back. I can barely catch my wrist in mari c and I usually spend the posture holding my breath, waiting for it to be over.

Today I went to a hot class. I like to practice inverting and or backbending after a hot class, because I am not so fatigued in the upper body as I am at the backbending and inverting points in the primary series. I didn't invert today because I had my hair pulled back in two of those jaw-clip things - it is at a painful point in the growing out process - so I worked on backbending. I did one backbend during the class, when you're given the choice to do either modified bridge or full backbend, and I really really tried to push through my chest and armpits, gently pushing with my legs in order to help straighten my arms.

After class, I did it again and since a few people had left I was able to turn my head just a bit to see myself in the side mirror and I was pleasantly surprised to see that my backbend looked much more rounded through my back than it feels. Some days my lower back feels very cooperative; during Tuesday's primary series I felt like I had only one point of articulation in my back and I was about to snap at that point.

Once again, my struggles to progress in the series come back to stamina. At the point at which it's time to backbend during primary series, I'm pretty tired. John also loves to tell us to hold our backbends for thirty breaths, or to walk ourselves 180 degrees, when it's all I can do to stay up with my quads screaming and my wrists aching.

It seems like I am constantly fretting about my practice and feeling frustrated because it is too much this, or not enough that. At least once a day I wonder why I bother when the frustration at my inability to practice enough - or at my lack of motivation to practice alone - is nearly equal to the benefits I feel.

Then last night I was reading Anne Lamott's book "Grace (Eventually)", which is wonderful. She really lays it all out there in a way that makes you laugh, yet realize that you, and probably everyone else around, are as warped as she is. She was writing about sitting through a dull service at her church in a bad mood. "I sat with a look of grim munificence, like so many of your better Christians, exuding mental toxins into the atmosphere." She chills out after a bit - which she calls grace happening - and says "I spent the last hour of the service feeling becalmed in a boat, no paddle, no wind springing up, slightly frustrated. But I knew that there would eventually be movement on the water again, and the wind did pick up toward the end of the service, two hours after it began. Driving home, I no longer felt that I must quit this church as soon as possible, any more than I would quit my family after a disastrous holiday meal."

It made me think about my yoga practice in the same light. It just IS, good, bad, whatever. If it's stagnated, it's still mine, and there's something to be learned from that. I need to quit comparing myself to people who are able to practice every day. I need to chill out about wanting to give up on it just because it isn't happening exactly the way I would like.

Run, don't walk

to your nearest music store (preferably a locally-owned indie store) and pick up the new Alison Krauss/Robert Plant cd. It's amazing!

I went into the cd store on Saturday looking for some new music for our ride up to the mountains. I had been thinking about Amy Winehouse, but I was still undecided. I've only heard bits and pieces of it, and I like it, but doesn't she drop some f-bombs? Anyway, they have several kiosks for listening to new releases, and I listened to some of the new Bruce Springsteen (good, with a sound that reminds me of Born In The USA), the new Tegan & Sara (also good, high on my list to get), Mark Knopfler (going to get this for Lee's birthday) and then this one. There is a little bit of the alt-country, bluegrass sound to it, but it also reminds me a bit of the Cowboy Junkies' Trinity Sessions. One of my favorites, though, is "Fortune Teller", a rocking number, which Robert Plant sings.

While I'm on the subject of music, I'll contribute to the Shuffle Your Playlist meme (though I don't have an iPod, I have a Creative Zen Nano, which I chose because it comes with fm radio and I like to listen to NPR sometimes):

1. Hold On Hold On - Neko Case
2. Thinking About Tomorrow (remix) - Beth Orton
3. Amazing Grace - Ani DiFranco
4. Weakened State - Sarah Harmer
5. Crane Wife - Decemberists
6. Accept Things - Delores O'Riordan
7. I Have the Touch (live) - Peter Gabriel
8. You Know I'm No Good - Amy Winehouse
9. Gayatri Mantra - Deva Premal
10. Soldier Jane - Beck
11. Crazy - Gnarls Barkley
12. How - Lisa Loeb
13. Simple Kind of Life - No Doubt
14. Crash Into Me - Dave Matthews Band
15. This House is Not For Sale - Ryan Adams

Today is a beautiful, windy, chilly day....the weather in the mountains was absolutely perfect. Cold, but not freezing, with a flawless blue sky and beautiful, brilliantly colored leaves. We hiked yesterday morning with the kids and I felt filled with energy....I wanted to break into a run on the trail and just keep going. I had to help keep up with all the kids, though...

Short practice this morning in my freezing living room. I kept a long sleeved shirt on until...whoops, I just realized I forgot purvottanasana....until the janus. Other than purvottanasana, I did everything else except for janu c and mari d. I did three navasanas, a ten breath backbend, a ten breath headstand, yoga nidrasana, and a short savasana, ending just as Lee came back home to get his phone.

This afternoon my friend Gwen and I are taking the boys (hers and mine) to the Atlanta Botanical garden to see an exhibit of whimsical scarecrows. Tonight there is a PTA Board meeting which I am probably going to blow off, as we won't get home from the gardens until 6:00 at least, and th meeting starts at 6:00. I have already gotten dinner started.....I have garlic, onions, and a red pepper sauteeing for black bean soup, which we will have with mild Italian sausages and whole-wheat cheese quesadillas. Perfect for a chilly night.

Better than I expected.

At the studio where I take Bikram classes (they're crim Bikram, I don't think they're supposed to use the name Bikram, but everyone knows that's what they are) there is a class simply called "ashtanga". It's been on the schedule since the winter, when I first started at John's studio. I took it once, and it was laaaaame-o. Super slow, with lots of modifications and props. The crowd seemed to tend toward older ladies, and I guess that's what the modifications were for.

Well, the teacher of that class has been in John's Tuesday morning class every week, and she has a lovely practice. She's super flexy, with lovely floating jump ups and jump backs, and she's pretty nice too. I think I mentioned that I chatted with her briefly, and she told me her practice consisted mainly of chanting. I wish I could just chant and have a practice like hers. Anyway, after taking her class in winter, I didn't bother going back, and at the time, John had morning classes four days a week.

Well, as anyone who's read this blog knows, my daytime primary series options have all but dried up and so I held my nose and went back to this teacher's class this morning.

It was still pretty darn slow, and I'm a slow breather. John's classes move right along so I tend to move along at his pace. For a bit I wished she'd pick up the pace, but as I've digested (so to speak) the class, I see that a slow class definitely has its upsides. For one, holding a posture for ten or more breaths (she spent a lot of time giving verbal adjustments and then would begin to count the breaths) really builds strength. For another, spending that much time in a posture gives you time to make all those adjustments and still have time to hang out breathing. In John's classes, I think momentum carries me through a good bit of the way, and I can move without thinking what comes next (most of the time). In this class, our movements were much more deliberate and I had to focus on what I was doing, with less of an automatic pilot effect. The structure of the class was much more tradtional than the one I took from her previously - primary series through navasana, then closing. Of course, it took us an hour and ten minutes to get to navasana, so it was an abbreviated closing. However, I'd go back again. Though she did do the sing-song chant in call-and-response form.

I take back what I said in my previous post about Sudoku puzzles. Not to be defeated, I did a few more out of the puzzle book and I'm hooked. I tried doing the one in the paper today, though, which was rated as the most difficult, and after spending about two hours total I had to give up.

We are headed to the North Ga. mountains tomorrow with four other families and their kids. Lee & Michael are leaving first thing tomorrow with one of the other families; since tomorrow is Will's last soccer game, we are going to it - at NOON - then staying for the little soccer party/awards, THEN leaving. It'll be at least 2:00 before we get on the road. Then we have to leave on Sunday after lunch in order to make it back home in time for the annual neighborhood Halloween parade. This weekend soccer playing really cramps our style. If Will didn't love it, we would have bailed already.

All this enrichment makes my brain hurt.

Ever since I found out how high Michael scored on the MAP testing a little while back, I have been wracking my brains to think of other fun, enriching activities for him. What I really wanted to do was find a chess group for him, but that is proving to be as difficult as finding daytime primary series classes.

Our school is the only elementary school in the city without a chess club, alas. There used to be one, but the child whose parent was in charge moved up, and no other parent has stepped in to take over. There is a chess and gaming center not too far away, but they seem to only have chess tournaments. The public library has a chess master and free chess club, but it's at a branch about a half hour from here and we'd have to go in rush-hour traffic.

He has been getting extra "enrichment" packets and worksheets in his folder periodically, and he treats them as seriously as he does his homework, the little rule-follower, and doesn't seem to feel put-upon even though he says no one else gets this extra work. However, I don't want it to be all about worksheets. A few weeks ago I bought "Jump Start Typing" for him, which he is moderately enthusiastic about. Today I was at Barnes & Noble and I picked up a set of sixth-grade BrainQuest cards and a Sudoku for Kids book. He LOVES the BrainQuest cards because he is into factoids and trivia. I knew those would be right up his alley, and the difficulty appears to be about right.

Then we sat down to figure out how to do Sudoku. Oh, my god. Before I could even finish reading the instructions I was confused. I'm just not cut out for that kind of thing. We did one of the "starter" six row puzzles and I had to look at the answer to even be able to begin filling in numbers. Michael seemed to pick it up quickly, but I am hopeless.

However, what I'm discovering in trying to provide extra stimulating stuff is that it could easily be a full-time job for both of us. He's in school until 2:45, we stay on the playground after school until at least 3:30, then by the time we get home, unpack backpacks, wash up, and have snack, it's 4:00. He has to do thirty minutes of reading a night, then write in his reading log, and he usually has a worksheet or two as well. Will has started having "homework" as well (he's all "Mommy, I have to do my homework", trying to be all serious about it, like Michael is. It's very cute) but his homework is stuff like reading poems together and picking out certain words or types of words, reviewing sight words, and practicing writing letters and numbers. Not onerous or busywork, but it requires me. So then if I want to spend any time doing extra stuff with Michael, then I usually let Will watch an hour of PBS kids. But when I tell Michael to go do twenty minutes of typing, say, and Will's watching TV, then he grumbles, and I can't blame him. He wants to watch too! But by the time PBS is done, Daddy is home, and by the time dinner is done, Michael is tired and it's time for shower, reading and bedtime. And the whole time, I am running around working on dinner, assisting Michael if needed, etc. It's really hard to fit it all in AND that's not even with after-school activities! (I am planning to sign them both up for Taekwondo after the first of next month.)

So this is all disjointed, but in short, I feel like there's not enough time in the day for additional stuff for Michael, even if it is fun. I guess ideally, he'd be challenged more at school. I know his teacher is doing the best she can, and the gifted program is several hours a week. Really, it could be a whole lot worse. But I can't help having this nagging feeling that he's just coasting along, being as sweet and well-behaved as he always is, and he's got all this potential going to waste here.

I don't want to cut into his after-school playtime, because it is totally unstructured play and Will needs it too. I don't want him to spend all evening working on "stuff" because he needs downtime. What's the answer?

With regards to practice, I had a good one yesterday at the studio with John. There were just three of us, so we all got lots of good adjustments. I have been scared of chakrasana ever since I crunched my neck the other week, so I was determined to do it. John was walking by when I did and he laughed and said "well, I've seen better." No doubt! I just wanted to do it so I wouldn't continue to be afraid of it and yeah, it needs work.

I've been seeing the are-you-an-ashtanga-liberal-or-conservative on various blogs and I just have to laugh and say that I think I am, um, an illegal alien, maybe. I'm so on the margins of a bonafide ashtanga society that I can't fit into either. To paraphrase a song on "Hee Haw", which my mother watched when I was little, "if it weren't for crim ashtanga, I'd have no ashtanga at all". About the only straight up thing in my ashtanga experience is the fact that I only know the droning version of vande gurunam. I practice on ladies' holiday, I practice on moondays, the place I practice doesn't even call itself a shala, I drink a good bit of wine, I practice Bikram yoga, and I eat meat. The yoga police are welcome to come get me anytime.

All for naught

I hauled ass into town about an hour ago only to find that the noon primary series class has been cancelled because of the Aids Walk.

There is a website. Would it be so difficult to post class cancellations ahead of time? There's a 3:00 primary series class, but with a different teacher, and I just don't want to drive back into town again. My only other option is a 4:30 Bikram class.

I was pissed and disappointed. I was so looking forward to practice.

I have no motivation to practice at home alone. It's just not the same. There's dinner in the crockpot, so the house smells like food, and it's not warm enough in here. And I just flat don't like it.

The last daytime primary series class at the chic intown studio was Friday. I thought since it was that teacher's last day, it'd be packed, but there were only three of us. It was a great class; we did a lot of playing around with postures.

But the fact that there were only three of us shows what the deal is with ashtanga yoga in this town.

I feel like the universe is telling me to give the hell up already.

Wah.

Yada yada

It's been almost a week. A week of only two practices, yikes.

Friday I went to the part primary that I've been going to at the chic studio and the teacher told us that she's moving to San Francisco, so, this class I've been going to? Cancelled. There hasn't been enough attendance to justify finding another teacher. Her last class is Friday.

I really, really wanted to go on Monday, but Sunday night was the Ryan Adams show at the Fox, and I didn't get home until 2 am. I was super tired and a wee bit hung over for practice.

You know....I haven't been out late at night for years. I'm not talking about staying out late at a dinner party or anything either, I mean, out out. We were in midtown for the concert, then tried to get a drink and something to eat nearby afterward, but on Sunday night everything closes at midnight, so we cabbed it back to Decatur to a local bar, where, apparently, everyone who gets off work at midnight goes. Lemme just say, it's a whole 'nother world out there after midnight.

Fun, but not something I want to do very often. Monday was pretty much a lost day.

Practice today was decent....still having some mild neck and shoulder issues on the right. John got us through full primary today, which was a nice suprise, since this is an intermediate class. There's another woman in the class who teaches "ashtanga" (in quotes because it's a loose interpretation of the series) at the studio where I take hot classes. I was chatting with her beforehand and she admitted that she really doesn't do much ashtanga. I asked her what her main form of practice was and she said "well, I do a lot of chanting." Hmmmm. With the demise of the Monday-Friday class, I may be forced to take another one of her classes. Unless I can tap into some well of motivation to practice alone. I'll have to dig deep to find it, though.

I bore myself talking about what hurts.

In a nutshell, my right shoulder slash collarbone injury improved greatly until a chakrasana yesterday during primary series. The chakrasana was sloppy and too slow and crunched my neck. I felt pain up the back of my neck, behind my right ear, and down the front of my chest. Every time I turned over in bed last night, I felt that pain shoot up behind my ear. I went to a hot power fusion class this morning, where the heat helped somewhat, then to my chiropractor, who worked me over good. She is one of those twist-and-pop chiropractors and I always feel sooooooo good afterward. She gave my neck some extra adjustments and I can still feel a few twinges on the right, but it's much better. I may need to go back again before it's entirely gone.

Now that I've covered my injury, I can move on to blogging about the bitchin' Justin western boots I bought. The boot purchase was a bit of a saga.....first I bought some tall Timberland boots that I loved. They fit like a dream...but were too tall and too wide at the top for my jeans to go over them smoothly. So I sent them back and went to the DSW shoe warehouse last Saturday, where there was not a single pair of Western boots to be seen (thought I did buy a pair of these, in olive and teal). After I left there, I went to the mall and tried on a pair of Frye's that I have always loved, but when I put them on, I didn't love them.....they were stiff and weighed about a ton and were really out of my price range to boot (har, har). I also tried on a pair of Frye western boots, which I liked better. So when I got home, I ordered the Justins from Zappos. They came, I tried them on, they fit okay (a bit narrow, but I know they'll break in) but a bit too short in the shank for wearing with skirts (on the rare occasion that I would wear a skirt and boots). My friend Gwen loves her Tony Lama's, and she wears them with skirts all the time, so I went back to Zappos and ordered a pair. They came yesterday, I tried them on, and decided that I liked the Justins best of all - they're more wicked pointy. Besides, I probably will never wear them with a skirt anyway; I may as well get some that I love with jeans. So back they went and I'm not going to look at my credit card statement for a few weeks.

This weekend is chockablock with social activities: Saturday is soccer, then the Oakhurst Fall Festival, then after the festival, a big family party at the house of a friend who lives just down the street from where the festival is taking place. It's sort of a combined keg party/new fire pit/8th birthday party event. Then Sunday we are decorating for Halloween, and Sunday night I am going with my friend Gwen and two other moms to see Ryan Adams at the Fox.

So not so much about yoga right now, I guess. My next practice will be Friday, then maybe a home practice on Monday (depending on how I feel after a late evening), then full primary on Tuesday.

One last thing - I read a hilarious book by a writer named Jancee Dunn earlier this year. Very funny and highly recommended. I found her blog (where you can read about her book) and the last several entries, which highlight portions of the JC Penney catalog circa 1975, are must-reads. Be sure to enlarge the photographs, because you won't want to miss the details.

It all started with the pumpkin.

Week before last I was trying to cut a pie pumpkin in half. I drove my big kitchen knife part the way into it, then leaned my weight on it to push it all the way through. As I did that, I felt a sharp pain above my right collarbone, in that little hollow area below the shoulder. I continued to feel pain on and off, not bad, but definitely there.

Last Saturday I went to full primary at John's studio. Great class - I felt strong and flexible. At kurmasana, I went all out to get my legs straight. Then I linked my hands and John crossed my legs behind my head for supta.

As the day went on I began to feel more achy and sore in that area, I think as a result of pushing too hard in kurmasana.

I didn't practice again until Tuesday, when I went back to John's in the morning. He has one morning class a week for which you had to pay in advance (otherwise I would have thought twice about going).

That practice was okay too. I got into kurmasana again, but didn't attempt to straighten my legs, and I would have stopped John from putting me into Supta if I felt any pain there, but I didn't. (In retrospect, probably a mistake to attempt this posture even without pain.)Only in chattarunga did I feel pain and I compensated by touching my knees down about every other one. But by the end, I felt pretty weak in that area.

I haven't practiced since, and the general ache has spread up into the right side of my neck and at times up behind my right ear, especially when I turn to look over my left shoulder. The pain seems to be centered at the top of my shoulder, just inside the bony point at the top, radiating in and up. Today at Target I was trying on a jacket and when I reached my right arm back to put it in the sleeve, I felt a sharp pain right at that point. Ouch. What have I done to myself?

I am dying to get back on the mat, but I can't envision myself doing chattarungas with this discomfort. I am probably going to do a Bikram class tomorrow, which is easy on the upper body, and try not to stress it again until next Tuesday.

Tonight I am going to hear Elizabeth Gilbert speak. I loved her book and I'm very excited to see her in person less than a mile from my house!

Kids & toy guns, or, Confessions of a Lame Playdate Mom

Until recently, I was a playdate-phobe. I didn't mind sending my kids off to playdates, but I never looked forward to the expected reciprocation. I have always admired and wanted to be like those moms who have kids in and out of the house all afternoon, stopping only to grab a fun yet healthy snack, entertaining themselves without needing an adult, but in actuality, I crave quiet and order. The thought of kids in and out of the house, and the aftermath of that, made me cringe. I wished I could just relax more, but honestly, I tend more toward the type-A, uptight mom.

In addition, our house and yard don't really lend themselves to lots of kids. We don't have a playroom, and our yard is not large. Before the current next door neighbors moved in, their back yard was kind of an extra back yard for us and was great for whiffleball, frisbee, hide & seek and wrestling matches. When those neighbors moved, the new neighbors put a fence up for their dog, so now we just have enough space to walk down to our back yard. No more extra back yard.

In the back yard we do have, there are two big trees, a makeshift deck that covers a storm drain, a large compost pile, and three raised garden beds. The sandbox can be somewhat entertaining - currently there is a Civil War battlefield set up there - but the boys seem to have moved beyond the 'playing in the sand' phase.

Especially during hot weather, playdates tend to be inside affairs. One problem I encountered with that is the lack of "group play" type toys we have. Michael's ideal entertainment is building Bionicles on his own and listening to an audio book; Will is similar, except that he listens to music, plays his instruments, looks at books, or else begs to watch TV. If we have a kid over who is not into Legos or music, we have a problem. And I regard TV as a playdate last resort.

When he was in kindergarten, Michael had a playdate during which I found them jumping on the futon in the spare bedroom. I discovered after the playdate that the futon frame was broken. Last year, after another playdate with the son of a friend of mine, I found out the friend had destroyed a bulletin board I had painstakingly made for Michael - I had taken marbles, fake coins, small cars, lego pieces, and plastic dinosaurs and hot-glued them around the edge of the bulletin board. The playdate friend had pulled almost all of them off. I glued them back. And I swear, the next time that friend came over, he did it again. His sister was with him that time and she pulled on and broke a wooden mobile hanging from the ceiling fan chain. Is it any wonder that I hate playdates? Despite those bad experiences, I still worried that my kids were kind of isolated when all their friends were swapping off and hanging out at each other's houses after school and on the weekends, but nobody was hanging out with us.

So, my playdate phobia has been challenged this year, because Michael has become best buds with G., who was in his class last year and is again this year. We had a couple of playdates with G. last year, both here and at his house, and Michael spent the night over at G.'s once. G.'s mom, Gwen, is very cool and someone who I wanted to know better. What better way than having our kids play together? It turns out they are very compatible and play together very well, and Gwen and I have gotten to be good friends.

Then Will got invited on a playdate earlier this week by one of his friends from Pre-K, S., who is in another kindy class but at the same school. When I picked Will up from the playdate, I found him and S. down in the basement, each playing Cartoon Network games on separate computers, after having spent an hour playing on the elaborate play structure in the back yard, and he informed me that S.'s mom had taken them to Dairy Queen for Blizzards after school.

We left S.'s house (Will protesting loudly) and went to G.'s house to get Michael, where I found them playing in the treehouse in G.'s backyard, which Gwen hates but is a kid's dream. They moved inside and began a game of Nerf dart tag. G. also has a PlayStation, which I've heard about at length.

I was beginning to feel like the uncoolest mom ever. No video games, no computer games, no fort, no play structures. Not even any Nerf dart guns. What kid would want to come to my house?

It's a long way down when falling off a soapbox, isn't it? I hate toy guns. I hate gun violence in any form. Lee and I watch no TV, so my kids only see kid shows and kid movies. But a while back I began to see I was fighting a losing battle, trying to keep guns out of their lives. When there were no toy guns in the house, they fashioned guns from Legos, K'Nex, sticks, or their fingers. Will especially was pointing finger guns and making gun noises from very early on.

But they already had an assortment of light sabers, which I hate because someone's knuckles inevitably get smacked whenever they play with them. About a year ago, Lee took them to Kennesaw mountain, which is a National Historic Site because it is a Civil War battlefield, and he bought them wooden muskets (which have since been turned into sawed-off muskets, by request). Then Aunt Brenda bought them each a Star Wars blaster, which I refused to let them use in the house. They were noisy, obnoxious, threatening-looking and they loved them.

It was inevitable. Video games are not going to happen, and I can't do anything about the fort, because there's nowhere to put one, but, despite my aversion to toy guns, today I went to Toys "r" Us (which Will calls "Toys For Us") and bought three Nerf dart guns and an extra set of darts. One for each boy and one for Daddy or the playdate.

It doesn't compare to a gaming console, but maybe, coupled with a trip for ice cream after school, it'll have some playdate appeal. If I fake it 'til I make it, maybe one day I'll actually feel like one of the cool moms with kids swarming all over the house and yard.

Ugh

Drinking top-shelf margaritas does not guarantee a headache-free day the next day.

Three ibuprofen, two cups of coffee, two pieces of turkey sausage, a quart of water and a hot yoga class later I still had a headache and a rock in my stomach. Now at 4:30, the headache is gone, but the rock is not. I've been trying to eat & drink various things all day hoping for the magic bullet, but alas, I haven't found it. Kind of reminds me of when I was pregnant....trying anything that I thought might make my nausea go away. But no, I'm not pregnant! Just bloated and disgusted with myself.

I'm trying to atone for my dietary/domestic sins by cooking a real dinner for tonight. Both boys had afterschool playdates, so I've been by myself all afternoon. I made a sweet potato casserole and homemade vanilla pudding for the boys. For us I am making a cauliflower dish with lots of garlic, anchovies and parmesan cheese. Yes, I am one of those freaks who likes anchovies. When they're combined with other stuff, I love the flavor (though you'll never see me ordering anchovies on a pizza). The boys will also have a piece of chicken and Lee and I will have strip steak.

I've been watching the Ken Burns documentary "The War" since it started on Sunday night. It's amazing. The elderly woman from Mobile talks the way my grandmother did: she pronounces "war" as "woaaah-ahh". The coverage of the battles in the Pacific is especially riveting. I've never known much about them, other than the Battle of Midway. Combat there was incredibly brutal and conditions were terrible. My dad sent me an email this morning telling me that he was watching it as well, and reminded me that his father was a "SeaBee" ("CB" stands for Construction Battalion") in the Coast Guard, stationed in the South Pacific. He served in New Zealand, New, Guinea, the Philippines, and New Caledonia. They went in right behind the combat troops to build airstrips, runways, and docks. Though he never had to participate in combat, his military service wasn't anything he wanted to talk much about.

I've gotten in a few yoga classes, but only one was primary series. It was a good one, though, on Monday at the urban chic studio. The teacher asked if we minded if she practiced with us, which was great, because she moved us along a little more quickly and with less talking. We still didn't do full primary, but we did more than we usually do. I've also done a 90 minute Bikram class, a 60 minute Hot Power Fusion, and today a 75 minute Hot Power Fusion.

I got an email from John that Tuesday morning classes are added back into the schedule, for the next six weeks at least. Yay! That means at least four other people besides me signed up and paid. They start next Tuesday. I'm very excited!

When the cat's away...

...the mouse doesn't do much.

Lee is in Chicago. So my wild 'n' crazy alone time consisted of a Sweetwater 420 beer, a basket full of laundry that needed folding, and the movie "United 93".

I certainly wasn't expecting it to be fun, but holy cow. At first glance it sounds like some cheesy, second-rate movie capitalizing on a tragedy. It wasn't any of those things. It was so realistic, without the artificial manipulation of the emotions normally seen in movies like this. It was almost like a documentary - the action told the story without anything else to heighten the tension. When it ended abruptly, I found I was squeezing the remote with both hands and shaking all over. I highly recommend it, if you can take it.

And speaking of cats, my 88-year-old across the street neighbor called me today to ask me if I'd noticed the cat sleeping under our oak tree lately. I said "yeah, that's our cat!" She had thought it was some decrepit old stray and was about to haul him off to an animal clinic to be adopted!



This was taken last spring, when his hangout of choice was in my petunia planter. That's what he does...picks a place and that's where you find him for weeks. Then he completely abandons that place and moves on. Maybe that's why she's never noticed him before, because typically his places are out of the way. But since the weather's cooled off a bit, he hangs out under the oak tree, and, in the evenings, on her front porch.

She told me she's been feeding him canned tuna. No wonder he keeps going over there!

I feel like I'm kind of drifting away from my ashtanga practice...opportunities to practice are few and far between and I'm still unmotivated to practice at home, alone....yesterday I did a "hot power fusion" class, today I did some sun sals at home. Tomorrow I am going to an intermediate level primary series class. I had hoped to go to Full Primary on Saturday at John's studio, but the first soccer game of the season is at 10:00. I *could* go, but what kind of mother would I be if I missed the first game? Alas, full primary is as far away from me as the moon, it seems....

"Gifted" kids.

Well! Today I had a conference with Michael's teacher. At open house, she had a signup sheet and I didn't think I had anything in particular to talk about with her, because he's a good student with no issues, but I thought, what the heck. She's offering, I'll go.

A few weeks ago the third graders spent a few hours participating in MAP testing. They haven't fully implemented it system wide, and this was just kind of a tryout of this testing system. From what I've heard about it, it sounds quite cool. It's computer-based, and as the kids answer questions on various subjects, the questions get easier or harder. Or, as the website puts it more succinctly, "test items dynamically adjust to a student's performance level, and as a result, test scores are more accurate".

He was tested in language arts, math, and science/social studies, and she showed me his scores. Across the board, he scored 99%. There's a key to accompany the scores that shows the grade level for each, and in each area he is working at an eighth grade or between eighth/ninth grade level. She seemed quite flabbergasted at the result and said she'd kids score that high in one area of testing, but never in all three. She also showed me some of his writing samples and said how amazed she was at the level of sophistication in his writing and she raved about what a quick thinker he is.

She said flat out that he's well past the third grade curriculum and that her challenge is going to be to keep him interested and learning even more than he is now. "If he's at an eighth grade level, there's no reason he can't be at a tenth grade level at the end of the year." She also hasn't bothered to give him the DRA this year because it only goes up to fifth grade.

We talked about ways to expand on what he's doing in the classroom, additional projects in areas he's particularly interested in, and we're going to work together on that. I feel like he is this untapped area of incredible potential and I'm not exactly sure how to make the most of it. I already feel like he's going to be much more knowledgeable than I am in no time. How can I maximize his natural abilities? I feel pretty clueless, frankly. As well, he spends lots of time by himself - by choice - reading, building legos, and listening to audiobooks. Scheduling him for a bunch of extracurricular activities is something we will have to approach with caution.

I am excited about his teacher's willingness to work on keeping him challenged. She did say that this is the largest group of gifted program kids she's ever had in a class, and admitted it was going to be like teaching two different classes.

I feel like I have been given an amazing, wonderful gift that I don't quite know what to do with.

At the other end of the kid spectrum, my bull-in-a-china-shop kindergartener continues to come home with "yellow" on his daily report, but his teachers assure me that he is sweet and loving with just a bit of difficulty controlling himself. I have been stressing about it a bit, because to me, stuff like talking in class = disrespect for the teacher. He appears to be loving school, though, and spends lots of time singing Spanish songs and reading short sentences and phrases.

And I practiced today, most of primary, and I have finally developed enough strength that I don't have to touch my knees down at all during chattarangas, and the weather is cool, sunny and fallish, absolutely beautiful and perfect. And I'm getting ready to order these awesome boots. Life is good!

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

So Mama bought her some yesterday:



I set out to buy Will some shoes yesterday, because he pronates when we walks, and sometimes complains about his feet hurting when he's just wearing his Keens or especially if he's wearing his evil Crocs.

So we went to REI where I also hoped to score some shoes for myself. I had spotted the above shoes online in red, but not in my size.

REI had them in other colors, but not red. Will scored some velcro closure Merrells, nice and supportive, and he loves them.

So I bribed the boys with the promise of a treat at Trader Joe's if they accompanied me to another shoe store without any grumbling/rowdy behavior. We stopped at abbadabba's, where I had not shopped in several years. Ohmygod, it's a shoe lover's dream! Alas, they did not have them in red either, so I went for the "rum raisin". LOVE them!

It was probably a good thing I had the boys with me, otherwise I could have done some serious damage to my bank account in there.

The husbands of all my friends (and my husband too) went off for a Dad's weekend at the lake. Poker, beer, college football and boating was their weekend. The moms and kids all got together last night for cocktails and swimming; then we got together again this morning for brunch. My friend Gloria has a fully stocked liquor cabinet and she was concocting some funky drinks for us last night including some kind of key lime martini which was to die for. I have had my carbohydrate and vodka allotment for the week, to be sure.

Practice has been sporadic; I went to a 6am hot power class on Tuesday, then Thursday (I think?) did part primary at home; yesterday I did part primary again while the boys watched a movie. Yesterday's practice was one of those rare strong AND bendy practices; I was sorry I didn't have time for the whole series.

I'm on my way to a Bikram class; I need to be sure to stand in the back lest I crap out due to toxic overload.

Like a rock.

Only dumber. No, wait, that's the president and I'm not talking about him here. What I meant to say was, Like a rock. Only heavier. And that would be me!

I'm getting back into practice. I went Friday to a new studio , a big place with a very minimalist/urban chic vibe, for an "Ashtanga level 2/3" class which was basically a little more than half primary. The teacher is one that I knew from the nearby Bikram studio. There were all levels of folks in there, from a few guys who were beginners, to two women who, at urdva dhanurasana, stood up and did unassisted dropbacks.

Saturday I went back to John's studio for full primary. Sunday I didn't practice. Today I went back to the first studio for another Ashtanga 2/3 class with the same teacher. (There were only two of us there today, so I got lots of adjustments).

I'm kind of suprised by how much ground I feel like I've lost in terms of balance and strength. Well, the balance thing could just be temporary, but I've struggled a bit with my strength. My flexibility is still good, though.

I have barely managed to remain upright during uttita hasta padangustasana during any of those classes. I don't know what's up with that. I swear I've done it fine plenty of times, no wobbling.

And I was seriously worried about headstand, too. I felt like I'd lost my ability to balance. On Saturday, John saw me struggling, so he spotted me, and when I came down, he told me I had my head tilted too far forward, which probably made me unstable.

On Sunday, at home, I practiced, with more of the crown of my head on the floor. Five time I went up and stayed, until I felt like I knew what I was doing again. John's suggestion helped a lot. Today in class, I got up with ease and stayed for fifteen breaths (Friday I couldn't get up at all).

I'm not thrilled with the 2/3 class, we don't chant and though the detailed instruction is good, I prefer less so that I can focus on my breath more easily. But, once again, I have to take my ashtanga where-the-heck-ever I can get it.

In that vein, John finally sent out an email about morning classes, and the deal is, at least five people have to pre-register and pay for a six week series of classes, either Tuesday or Friday. Tuesday is primary series and Friday is "power hour". The classes will start next month or whenever five people register & prepay. If five people don't register, the classes won't be held.

Why does everything have to be so hard?

I will sign up for the Tuesday series, so that if that is held, I could do that class, the level 2/3 on Fridays, and throw in a Bikram or Power Fusion class another day or two a week, and maybe a Saturday at John's studio. Of course it seems ridiculous to have class cards at three different yoga studios, but there you go.

DH is working late tonight because of a seemingly trivial incident, not sure what exactly, damage control, interviews, whatever. The corporation in question absolutely hates negative publicity and freaks out accordingly whenever something happens that gets them in the news. In any event, there is another worker who still needs to be interviewed, but doesn't come in until 9:00 tonight. And the location in question is 45 minutes away.

I shouldn't grumble; it'll be about ten billable hours alone today and that'll buy a lot of yoga classes.

Tomorrow I'm planning to attend a 6:00 am Hot Power Fusion class. The rest of the week is so busy that 6:00 am is all I could fit in. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I were employed full time....

Aaargh.

Have not been to a yoga class since August 25, the week that I did four Hot Power Fusion classes. I have gained three pounds since then, but it feels like more than three on my body. It also doesn't help that I went on a girls' weekend the weekend before Labor Day, and then Labor Day weekend we went to my S-I-L's house to celebrate Michael's 9th birthday, which was Monday. AND, I made Michael a birthday cake for the family birthday. So basically, it's been cake, cocktails, and a few somewhat lame practices for the last two weeks.

Saturday morning I was SO looking forward to full primary at the studio. But dammit, I got there and the class time had been changed to 10 (from 9:00). I had looked at the studio calendar on Friday and it said 9:00. I looked through my inbox trash and saw that John had sent out an email with a bunch of weekend schedule changes but it was titled "Adjusting Workshop 8/19 cancelled" when 8/19 was the week before. He had obviously re-used the email template or something, and the content was just generally garbled, so I didn't pay much attention to it. My fault. But you'd think he'd have changed the studio calendar to show the time change...he deleted all the cancelled classes from it for the weekend.

ANYWAY, I was so disappointed. I couldn't stay until 10 because the family was waiting on me to leave for the S-I-L's. So I asked Lee to take the boys upstairs and just let me do 30 minutes downstairs. It actually was a pretty decent practice, despite the fact that Will was lolling around on the sofa whining "mooooo-mmmmyyy, when are we going to leave?" and playing with this incredibly noisy wooden pinball game in the next room. I didn't do the full series, just standing, seated through bhuja p, and a quick closing.

I also set out to do full primary at home on Tuesday morning. It started out well, I felt strong and a little stiff, but good. I got to the chakrasana after supta padangustasana and I rolled right over on my neck. OUCH. I am always a little timid about chakrasana at home, because the living room is not big and I'm always afraid I'm going to hit the wall. I probably wouldn't, but it affects the posture anyway. When I came up, my neck was killing me! It was more muscular as opposed to one of those things where you know something is out of whack, fortunately, but I stopped there. I didn't think I could even do closing, so I ended with a short savasana. And that was my last practice, and I am feeling cranky, fat, and jonesing for a led class.

Supposedly, there is supposed to be a new morning class schedule after September 3, but, hello, it's September 6 and I've heard nothing. So tomorrow, I am trying a new studio for an "Ashtanga primary series level 2/3" led class. It's not at the best time, 12:30 - 1:45, which means that I will have time to rush home after, scarf some lunch, then go pick up the boys from school. But by god I'll get my ashtanga where I can find it.

In addition to not ever being terribly motivated to practice at home, I've been super busy with PTA stuff, some of which is frustrating and tedious. After next Wednesday, which is the Back To School Picnic (rescheduled from a rainout last Thursday) things should slow down a bit. I had a Board meeting on Monday, then I had to be at school at 7:30 this morning to help with "Campus Parent Portal" signup, then tonight is the general PTA meeting and Curriculum Night. There's also a Kid's Consignment Sale at which I signed up to sell at AND work, and I have not even begun pricing my items, which have to be dropped off next Wednesday morning. I also went to the thrift store yesterday for some eBay inventory, I need to get listing because we need the money. As well, I've been working on my resume (basically from scratch, since it's been nine years since I've had a real job). I've lined up three references, but I need to get them on paper and finalize my resume. I don't know how much detail to go into with my volunteer work; I've got my volunteer positions listed, but I'm not sure whether to list everything I've done in those positions or not. My resume is already two pages, so I guess I could fill up some of the space on the second page with my experience.

AND if I wasn't feeling a bit frazzled with all that, Michael has developed a "vocal tic". It started out a few weeks before school started, tapered off, and now is back. He makes this soft little grunting noise every twenty to thirty seconds or so. It's much better when he's well rested, but very prevalent at night. I'm not sure where it's come from, he claims to love school, the work is not overly taxing (a whole 'nother issue in itself, but I hope to resolve it tonight) and his teacher says he is wonderful. He does seem to be chronically overtired but he is having a bit of a hard time falling asleep at night.

An hour or two on the mat would really work wonders for my perspective on this stuff.

Everyone else is doing it, so why not me...

I'm a Balanced Yogi!

A Balanced Yogi You love your friends unconditionally and accept them for who they are no matter what their yoga style preference, religious beliefs, or spending habits. You focus on the good in people and would never try to change them. Almost everyone feels comfortable in your presence. You live your yoga. You are an inspiration to yoga students everywhere!

Take the Yoga Journal Yoga Snob Quiz!

Some of the answers to the quiz were pretty silly, and after all, who would want the rest of the world to know that they were a yoga trend snob?

Another home practice today, slow and creaky as usual, nothing new to report except a satisfyingly loud "crack" during mari c on the right. My wrists have been feeling a bit stressed lately during bhuja p and bakasana...I hope this is not a portent of troubles to come. My lower back continues to be very stiff and achy though practice helps.

Yesterday, I felt kind of glum because of circumstances and the more I reflected on it, the worse I felt. Circumstances haven't changed since yesterday, but I felt inexplicably better today. I would like to think it was practice that made the difference.

Creaky and stiff.

Full primary this morning at home, for the first time since two Saturdays ago. Despite doing four hot fusion classes last week I felt like an old lady. The tops of my shoulders and back of my neck are sore from shoulder stand/urdva padmasana and my hammies are sore as well.

I felt strong enough, but slow and stiff. My left hip/lower back is persistently stiff and achy. Stretching it does help, but it's low grade painful all day, especially bad when I get up in the morning. I could sit in Janu b on my left heel all afternoon and still feel like I needed to stretch it some more.

I spent all afternoon dealing with the freaking gift wrap sales company, trying to make sure their ordering system works before I distribute the catalogs and ordering instructions on Thursday. I'm sure the universe is laughing at me - I HATE those things and refuse to participate, yet here I am, spending my time trying to make sure it works. This is this particular company's first year doing online-only sales; we were going to kick them to the curb if we had to do it manually again. So there are some glitches, and I'm glad I tried to register and place an order before I found myself inundated with questions about their unclear instructions/nonfunctioning website.

I took a load of clothes to the consignment store this afternoon and on my way out, detoured by their shoe racks. I found a brand new pair of these (though in a slightly lighter color, like a dark tan) for $23:



Score! I have a black leather pair that I have worn every winter for the past five years, at least four times a week. I have been thinking about getting another pair, but they're so expensive, I felt like I needed to get a pair just as functional as black. But not black. I never could decide on what other color would be as useful, so I never got another pair. But for $23? Never worn? I had to have them.

Of course, it'll be at least two more months before it's cool enough to wear them, but I still get a tiny thrill of excitement and anticipation at the thought of them, waiting for me in the closet.

Will came home with a "red" (meaning bad) on his behavior report today for singing the song "Who Let the Dogs Out" over and over in class after being asked to stop. Lee and I were laughing, despite ourselves. I think his teacher is the bomb and she's great for his type of kid, but his pre-K teacher would have never put up with that. He did get a red, but they were quick to assure me it was not really a big deal. I guess I wish it were a bigger deal; maybe it would make more of an impression on him. Will having to move his clip from green to yellow or red makes absolutely no difference to him; Michael would have been in tears of mortification. The other day (before the behavior reports starting coming home, but a day he would have gotten a red) some other kid said "oooh, you're gonna be in trouble when you get home" and Will said "but my mommy will still love me anyway."

When we got home, I confiscated the CD with that song on it, told him that any day he came home with red was a no-tv day, and said that if the singing in class continued to be a problem, his CD player would be confiscated as well.

Oy, the third week of kindy and he's already trouble with a capital "T".

Homebody.

That's what I've been all day today. I don't sit around and relax very well, so I've been puttering around, getting things done so I can start the week off right. I did a few things in the yard, did two loads of laundry, got an eBay item ready to mail to the winner, got some clothes ready to take to the consignment store, cooked a package of chicken breasts and made chicken salad for lunches out of them, roasted beets for salad, and roasted sweet potatoes to puree with seasonings for the boys. I also made a nut-based vinaigrette for tonight's dinner that is really yummy - pulverize a small garlic clove in the food processor with a half-cup of nuts (I used almonds). Then add a quarter cup of vinegar (I used champagne) and salt, then 3/4 cup of olive oil and blend until smooth. I wound up adding more olive oil and about a half cup of warm water to thin it out. It would make a wonderful dip as well as a salad dressing. I thought it would be good with the roasted beets. We are also having grilled flat iron steak and grilled yellow squash.

Friday night I went out to dinner at Watershed with six friends to celebrate two birthdays, then five of us went to Beth's house at Lake Hartwell to spend the night. I've never had a close group of girlfriends before, but I really have one now and I treasure them. They're my posse. We sat up until about 1:30 am Saturday with cocktails and birthday cake, gossiping and laughing hysterically. We got up Saturday, cooked breakfast, sat around and talked some more, then helped Beth put their boat in the water. We took the boat way out, then stopped in the middle of the lake with the radio on to swim and sun ourselves. After a couple hours on the lake, we came back to the house and Gloria made this awesome spicy buffalo chicken dip, which was our lunch along with more birthday cake. We took the boat back out of the water, then loaded up, drove back, and got here about 8:30 last night.

It was my first time going away from Lee and the boys; they've been away from me plenty of times, but I've never left them, and I did miss them and wonder if Lee was taking care of them correctly. ;-) Obviously, I am a control freak!

I did return to find them overtired, overstimulated, and in the same clothes they wore to school on Friday, but the house wasn't a mess. So that's something.

I did four Hot Power Fusion classes last week, and only a partial primary practice one morning before one of those classes. I have used up all my classes at both studios, and can't afford to buy any right now, so my plan is to do three primary practices at home this week before Friday, when I have to go on a field trip with the third graders. I admit to feeling like a bit of an ashtanga impostor these days. I read about other people's six day a week practice and feel like I'll never achieve "real" ashtangi status.

At last, the string of brutally hot 100+ degree days has broken. We had a good rain on Friday night, and it's been raining lightly for the last two hours, so perhaps everyone's disposition will improve. Next week is predicted to get into the low 90's which will feel like a cold front by comparison. We've all been exhausted and grumpy every night, feeling absolutely drained by the relentless scorching sun.

"Hot Power Fusion"

I'm sure that "people" would scoff at this class, but you know what, I enjoyed it and I went back this morning. I tend to be sort of a traditionalist, rule-follower type, but I think I'm mellowing out in my old age. One goal, many paths, you know?

This class takes the 26 asanas of the Bikram series and links them together with postures from other yoga lineages, plus some up and down dogs. It also has a section of core work at the end, plus a longish backbend. It's more of an upper body strengthener than Bikram, and offers a little more variety. The class I took today was a little different from the one I took last night. Both good.

I am craving a primary series, but I don't know when it's going to happen. Tomorrow I must do some PTA stuff at school, and then go to Ikea for a tension rod and curtains to replace the falling-apart bifold doors of Michael's closet. On Wednesday, I could practice at home by myself or I could go back for another hot power fusion in the morning.

I am sitting up waiting for one of my auctions to end. It's a prana tank top that I found at the thrift store a few months ago and never wore. It's up to more than $25 right now with a few minutes to go. Cha-ching!

Bananas.

I used to be able to count on my kids eating bananas at any time. I always picked up a big bunch whenever I went to the grocery store. These days they're turning their noses up at them, or else eating them grudgingly with peanut butter when I threaten them with "protein snack, or else"! If the bananas have very many spots on them, they won't touch them at all. I don't eat them anymore because they are too high in carbs.

The ziplock bag I keep in the freezer with the spotted bananas was full, and I had yet another bunch going all brown two weeks ago. I made two loaves of banana bread from Mark Bittman's "How To Cook Everything". The boys were only marginally more enthused about that banana bread than they were the bananas. Normally, I use Martha Stewart's banana bread recipe from her "Collected Recipes for Everyday" book. That recipe calls for sour cream and a bit more sugar than the other recipe. I think it is the best banana bread I've ever had, but at the time I didn't have any sour cream.

So when I had yet another bunch of bananas going brown and spotty, I looked through some other cookbooks for inspiration. I pulled out my "Best of the Pillsbury Bake-Off" cookbook, which I hardly ever use, and found an easy recipe for banana spice cake with a powdered sugar glaze. I had all the ingredients on hand, too. I made a batch to take to the lake when we went a few weeks ago, and I made it last weekend so the boys would have a treat in their lunchboxes the first day of school. It was a hit. I subbed whole wheat pastry flour for all-purpose flour and I couldn't even tell.

You think I'd learn, but I had yet another bunch of bananas to use up this weekend. I was craving a peanut butter and banana sandwich at the time, so when I was looking for a recipe calling for bananas, I searched online for some kind of snack cake calling for peanut butter and bananas together and found this recipe for Banana Cake with Peanut Butter icing on cooks.com. The cake is similar to Martha Stewart's banana bread recipe, and the icing, which is peanut butter, cream cheese and corn syrup, is not very sweet. It's pretty awesome, I have to say, the combo of banana cake with the icing. Yum.

Our across-the-street neighbor brought the boys a carton of chocolate chip ice cream from Brusters, because Lee did some legal work for her and wouldn't charge her, so it's going to be a dessert extravaganza after dinner tonight (stir-fried chicken with cashews and brown rice).

Since I've been consuming a bit more carbs than I normally do this weekend, I'm going to try a new class at my hot yoga studio this afternoon - a "Hot Power Fusion" class. There's a "Hot Power Fusion" teacher training going on there all week, so all the Bikram classes this week are now "Hot Power Fusion" classes.

Yesterday morning I went to advanced primary at the other studio. I really tried to recreate that feeling of relaxed mindfulness that I had my last home practice, and for the most part, I was able to, even though the pace was faster.

Once thing I've noticed is how my strength can come and go during the series. During the surya namaskars, sometimes I feel heavy as lead and can barely do a chattaranga without touching my knees down. At other points in the series I have a surge of energy and I feel almost weightless - and I notice this particularly after ardha baddha padma. When I come up out of that posture, I almost always have a head-rushy feeling, but the vinyasa after that feels completely floaty and light and I don't struggle with the chattaranga at all. Isn't that wierd?

For the next two weeks I guess my practice is going to be at home or else the hot studio. On Friday, the group of girlfriends is going up to my friend Beth's lake house to celebrate two birthdays, so I won't be here for the Saturday morning advanced primary.