Lettter to my dad.

Dear Dad:

Wherever you are, I hope you know how sorry I am that I didn't see you before you passed away. I guess I was in denial that you were going to go so soon. If you had hung on a few more days I would have been able to hold your hand one more time and tell you that I love you. But I know you were tired. You were tired a year ago, after your second round of chemo. You told me you only went through it for mom, but really you were ready to go even then.

I know you know I love you, but I'd give anything to be able to tell you one more time. When I listen to the music that was played at your memorial service, it is so beautiful and such a reminder of who you were that I can't help but feel your spirit. You're free of pain and suffering now, and I can almost see and hear you as you were before you got sick, but I sure do miss you, dad, and hope that you'll give me some sign that you know I'm thinking of you always.

Love,
Kayla

Seaside Half Marathon: the Recap

Lee and I headed for the beach last Friday after we got the boys to school and his sister squared away with instructions and suggestions for activities for the boys. One of the best parts of this trip had to be driving down without kids! No "I'm hunnngrrrryy", no "how much longer???", no "mooooom, my Nintendo game fell between the seats!". Needless to say, we got to Seaside in record time. Friday afternoon was breezy, warm and sunny. There were some folks about, though the town seemed pretty quiet. We sat and had dinner at the bar of a pizza place we like and the waitress said that they were expecting 85% occupancy the next day, so, lots of other folks coming in the day before the race.

I had done my last run on Tuesday morning, and developed a bad cramp in my left hamstring halfway through the run. My hamstrings felt a little tight and sore from a vinyasa flow class the previous Saturday, and my left one just got tighter and tighter as I ran. I had planned to do about eight miles that day and a short three-miler on Thursday, but I cut it short on Tuesday and skipped Thursday's run so that I had plenty of time to ice that cramp. By Friday afternoon, I was really, really ready to run again. I felt like my fitness was just slipping away! I saw a few folks running on Friday afternoon, too, which made me feel super antsy to get back on the road.

Saturday dawned cool and cloudy. I got up, had coffee, and went for a brisk walk around town, then came back and had breakfast with Lee. We got dressed, got on our bikes, and biked out to a neighboring town about three miles away called Grayton Beach. We browsed around town and had an early lunch in a pub, then biked back to Seaside to the race expo. I had the words of another friend who'd just done her first half marathon ringing in my head: "hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!" I carried my water bottle around with me and drank all afternoon.



The lines for packet pickup for the half were really long, but Lee got to go to the front of the line for 5K packet pickup. After I finally got my number and shirt, we browsed the expo for a bit. Lee bought a pair of very thin New Balance running gloves, not actually thinking he'd need them. Vera Bradley was the main sponsor of the race, so there were people going around and handing out schwag. I scored two cute little printed Vera Bradley zippered bags, one of which I'm sending to my sister-in-law.



The afternoon got cloudier, chillier and windier. Check the flag over the post office! We went back to our rented cottage, made spaghetti and salad for dinner, and played gin rummy.



It started raining about 6:00, and it stormed like hell. Thunder, lightning, blowing rain. The forecast, and regular updates on the race's Facebook page, assured us that the storm would blow through before morning, and that Sunday was supposed to be cool but clearing and in the mid-sixties.

I took a Simply Sleep about 8:30, set my alarm for 5:15 and went to bed.

I woke up about 4:30, but felt well rested. I drank the full glass of water on my bedside table (I planned to not drink any more water before the race so as to not have to stop at the port-o-john during the race), then lay in bed until 5:00. I got up, turned on the coffeepot and stepped outside to check the weather. Because Seaside is in central time, the sky was already starting to lighten just a bit. It was quite a bit cooler than it had been the previous day, and a little bit breezy.

I made my pre-long-run breakfast: a piece of bacon in the microwave, half a banana, and a big spoonful of peanut butter and one cup of coffee. I know that bacon seems like an odd thing to eat before a race. I'm hypoglycemic and a low(er) carb eater, and I have to have some protein in the morning. If I had just carbs, I'd have a blood sugar crash. I really didn't want the whole banana because I'm not hungry when I first get up, but I made myself eat half, knowing I'd be hungry later. I got dressed, though I kept stepping outside to try to decide whether to wear short or long sleeves. The wind was chilly, so I opted for long. I also tucked a Clif Shot into the zipper pocket in my tights.

Somehow in going through our race bags, I'd lost four of our eight safety pins, so I took a quick walk to the town square to pick up more from the last-minute packet pickup table. It was about 6:20 and people were already setting up their chairs and blankets in the amphitheater for the post-race party.



At the time it looked like the wind was going to blow the clouds off. A little bit of blue sky was peeking through. When I got back to the cottage with the pins, I stuck my sunglasses in the waistband of my tights.

I strapped on my iPod armband, we pinned on our bibs, gathered our post-race supplies - water, jackets, phone - I used the bathroom one more time, and we walked back to the amphitheater to claim a spot. A few people were starting to line up at the pace markers and the announcer gave the fifteen minute warning. We took a self(selves) portrait before I joined the starters.



I put myself at the 9:00/mile pace marker. The sun started to come out, so I perched my sunglasses on my head. As people made their way to the start, I actually got a little choked up. I couldn't believe I was about to do this thing I'd been thinking about, dreaming about, planning and training for.



As the start got more and more crowded, the announcer called the five minute warning and people began to shift toward the start line. Lee spotted these two dudes up near the front:



The guy in the bikini evidently runs it in that, or a tutu, every year. Besides him and the guy in drag, the only other wacky thing I saw on the course was a guy wearing a giant fleece "Nemo" (as in, Finding Nemo) fish hat.

We waited for what seemed like a lot longer than five minutes, then they announced the singing of the national anthem.



As soon as "home of the brave" trailed off, the gun sounded. Everyone started cheering and moving forward. I spotted Lee about ten feet ahead, blew him a kiss, started my playlist, and was off.



I was really, really focused on not going out too fast....I was almost as focused on that as I was on finishing under two hours. After my 7:30 first mile at the Run the Reagan and my really, really sucky last two miles in that race, I wanted to start slow and finish strong. The crowds around me kept me slow, but I was a little surprised to hear that the first mile was 9:30. I thought to myself that I needed to pick up the pace a bit, so I started passing people, at what still felt like a pretty relaxed pace. I determined from the time called by the race volunteer that the gun time was about fifteen seconds off from my chip (and watch) time.

The sky got cloudy again, so I took my sunglasses off and tucked them back into my tights, where they stayed for the rest of the race.

We passed the turnaround for the 5K, which was a lifeguard stand in the middle of the road! Somewhere in between mile 1 and 1.5, there was a water stop, but I passed it up. There were a LOT of slower runners on the road ahead of me. Not just runners that were taking it easy...runners that clearly were not 8 minute mile half-marathoners. Older ladies in sweatpants. Perky blondes in matching visors walking three across. I wove in and out of them, mostly staying to the edge of the highway. We passed through the intersection for the turnoff to Grayton Beach, where there were a fair amount of spectators.

I got water at the second stop, at mile 3. I slowed to a fast walk so I could actually drink without snorting water up my nose. They were handing out Gatorade too, but I drank only water. I hate Gatorade!

I also checked my watch at mile 3 and saw that I was on track to complete 5K by 25 minutes. I was pretty pleased; my 5K PR is 25:04. But I tried to be mindful of my speed, because if my first mile was 9:30, miles two and three were probably on the fast side, for me.

I saw a petite blonde woman ahead of me wearing a shirt that had the bible verse Philippians 4:13 on the back. She had the most relaxed, steady stride and great form and she seemed to be keeping a pace similar to mine, so I fell in behind her. I stayed with her, more or less, for the next five or six miles.

Until this point in the race, the road had been nearly flat. As we approached Little Redfish Lake, there were a few gentle dips and swells. There were a few folks along the road, but long gaps where there was no one but race volunteers. The spectators were mostly where there were houses, and much of the route is simply pine trees and lakes.

As we ran through the community of Blue Mountain Beach and approached Draper Lake, I could see the first runners on their way back. The lead guy was accompanied by a volunteer on a bike. He was cruising along, looking as if he had not even broken a sweat. And bikini dude was somewhere in the first ten on the way back.

I walked the water stop at mile five, and when I jumped back into the stream of runners, I jumped right into the most disgusting cloud of farts EVER. And that's coming from a mom of two boys who delight in passing gas, the more putrid, the better. There were four or five guys right in front of me and I'm sure one of them released it. I pulled my shirt up over my nose and zipped around them.

As we approached the turnaround, there was an actual long, gentle downhill. The turnaround was in Santa Rosa Beach which is fairly built up so there were a lot of people, plus a band. There was also a timer at the turnaround. I don't remember what my watch said, but I remember looking at it and feeling confident that I was on track to make my time goal. The race results told me that my chip time was 54 minutes and change.

As soon as we started back, we were heading up the long, gentle uphill, but I didn't even feel it. There were lots of runners approaching the turnaround to watch, and I think all my training runs on hills meant that this gentle hill was a piece of cake.

I stopped again for water at mile seven. I recalled reading blogs where people talk about "the miles slipping away" and I realized that's exactly what had been happening to me. It seemed ridiculous when I read it, because often on my training runs my miles are hard-earned. They don't slip away at all! I guess the easy terrain, my rocking music, the funny roadside signs, the spectators, and the other runners kept my mind occupied.

I got another half cup of water at mile eight. At mile nine, I thought about my Clif Shot. I felt fine, but if I bonked, I didn't want to have to wait for the Shot to kick in, so I pulled it out of my zipper pocket and ripped off the top. It was a mocha caffeinated one, and dang, it was good. Rather than slurp it all down right then, I squeezed a little bit out at a time and swallowed it down over the course of the mile. As I approached the mile ten marker, there was a port-a-potty and a water stop. I didn't need to go, but I did want a bit of water to wash down the last of my Shot. I walked briefly, drank half a cup of water, tossed the rest, and rejoined the runners. I fell back in behind Philippians 4:13 girl and checked my watch. My arches were starting to hurt a bit and my hip flexors were a bit tired. But my watch told me that I had about forty minutes to run 3.1 miles and make my time goal. Kanye West's "Love Lockdown" started playing. I thought about my goal and a surge of adrenaline kicked in. I left Philippians 4:13 girl behind and picked up the pace. I knew the course was flat until the end and I knew that 3.1 miles was really nothing. I cruised back through Grayton Beach. I saw the familiar stand of pine trees on Western Lake, so iconic to this area that it is pictured in the t-shirt artwork.



I felt pretty happy to see those trees. I knew it meant I was about a mile or so from the finish, and my dogs were barking pretty loud about then. I was ready to be done. I kept my gaze on the road ahead; I could see the houses of Watercolor but I was waiting to see the flag flying above the post office, where the finish was. As I ran through Watercolor, I experienced the only true tiredness of the race, and it lasted only a few seconds. A short, swarthy race volunteer smoking a cigar at an intersection waved a box truck across when I was about a hundred yards away (with no runners very close in front or behind me). I gladly slowed my pace for a few steps to wait for the truck to cross, but it zoomed across and I picked up the pace again. The road straightened out and I could see the flag above the post office. The crowds along the route were heavy and I began looking for Lee. I had told him to find a spot along the finish at about 9:45; I said that was probably too early but to do it anyway. I wasn't sure where he was going to be, so I didn't kick it in yet but instead kind of cruised along, looking at the crowds to the left. I got closer and closer to the finish and still couldn't find him, so I thought "what the hell" and gunned it. Turns out he was pretty close to the finish line.



I hit the button on my watch as I crossed the finish and was absolutely ecstatic to see that I had finished in 1:47:43!!

At the end of the chute were volunteers and one of them put a medal around my neck. I stopped my music and started looking for Lee. He was calling for me from the other side of the barricade. I was laughing and shouting "I did it!!" I found a gap in the barricade, and went around to hug him, then he came back out with me and showed me where to go to get my race bag. I grabbed a bottle of water, got my bag, and came out of the bag tent to meet him at our spot. I was on cloud nine!!



We left our stuff at our chairs and joined the line for BBQ sandwiches and coleslaw.



I inhaled my sandwich and slaw. I don't think it even hit bottom. There was also free beer, but I think it was Bud and therefore not worth the potential headache.

Lee told me about his 5K - he went back to the cottage to get his new gloves and had just gotten back when the gun went off, so he was at the very back of the pack, trapped behind a bunch of walkers. He wasn't running for time, but he was annoyed to find that his first mile was 11:30! He dodged the walkers and picked up the pace, finishing in 29-something.

We stayed for the awards ceremony and live music, then gathered up our stuff and started slowly back to the cottage. When I saw the long, long line for the shuttle to take runners back to an off-site lot I was so happy we were staying two blocks away.

We went back, took hot showers, I texted all my pals and running friends about my result, and we went to a taco bar and had an early lunch of shrimp burritos and margaritas. After that I had a waffle cone with two scoops of gelato, then a big cup of coffee. Then a little while later, some leftover pasta, and we went to an early dinner at a wine bar where I had a charcuterie and cheese plate and two glasses of wine. Eat to run, run to eat!!

On our slow, slow stroll back through town to the cottage, we saw what was left of the race:



Thank you, Seaside!

In which my first half-marathon may turn out to also be a personal record

Seaside School Half-Marathon...a big success! I want to write out the details later, but I did it in 1:47:43. I'd hoped to finish under 2:00, had nearly decided that goal was too optimistic, and was hoping to finish under 2:10, but the planets must have been in alignment (and all the other factors worked in my favor) and I achieved my goal in a big way! I finished 14th out of 267 in my age group; 97th out of 1447 women; and 270th out of 2135 total runners. My first mile was 9:30 (crowds at the start kept it slow); first half of the race was 54:09; second half was 53:38 for an average pace of 8:16 per mile. Whether I could achieve this on another course, I don't know. I trained on hills and this course was mostly flat, so I may never have a time this good again!

I'm still on cloud nine about the experience! Details to follow.

10K race in the books.

10K yesterday morning, on a gorgeous, cool, sunny day. I woke up at 3:45 yesterday morning and could not go back to sleep, so I was exhausted before the race even started. But fortunately Michael agreed to come with me to cheer me on and he is the one who took this picture as the race started. I tried hard not to start too fast and I didn't feel like I did, but my first mile was done in 7:30 which is fast for me. The course was on a four-lane divided highway, with nothing to see but trees, and several long, rolling hills. I started dragging at the turnaround and actually walked for about forty seconds when I got water at the last stop. My legs felt like lead and my heart rate was high which is how I feel when I am extremely fatigued from lack of sleep. The course flattened out in the last mile and 2/10 so I was able to pick up the pace a bit and I finished in 51:01; I was hoping for 50 or below so all things considered, I'm happy with the time. I also finished fourth in my age group (missed 3rd by three seconds) and 20th out of 408 women.

The course was so boring that I think much of my challenge in this race was mental. My usual course has lots of diversions and is through town and neighborhoods; I'm also dodging cars, waiting for traffic, people watching, and looking at houses so those seem to create some diversions for me that make the run easier and more fun. The half-marathon course is similar to yesterday's course - out and back down a two-lane road with pine trees most of the way. It does cross two lakes, and there are a few small beach villages along the way, but for the most part it is pretty dull. Not much in the way of hills, though. And I'm going to make sure that the entire week leading up to it I get good sleep every night!

Michael and I had a blast together after the race; we parked at a shopping center with a Starbucks inside the Target, so we got coffee (smoothie for him) afterward and drove home with the windows and roof open and the music blasting. I took him for a haircut, then for a burger, then groceries, and then home where he immediately hopped on his skateboard.

Last night we went to a casual dinner party at C's house, because her husband's birthday was last week. We were supposed to have game night, but we all sat around the dinner table for so long that it got late and games never happened. I was fading by 11:00 o'clock and ready to go, but was trying to stick it out a little later for Lee, since the days of him staying later than me at parties are OVER. About 11:15 the dads were congregated on the back porch and getting loud, and C. went out there to smoke. That was my cue that it was time for us to go, and Lee, to his credit, came quietly.

It was just like the old days, except not. It was a bit uncomfortable sitting at the table with her and Lee. C was having cocktails and telling stories and being her old self, and knowing how Lee still feels about her makes it weird for me. I know I can choose to stay home next time; maybe we will. I guess I should give it some time to see if this is something that gets better each time we are together.

13.2 in the books.

I did my weekly long run a day earlier today, so with less recovery time than usual, because there is a 100 percent chance of rain tomorrow. I wanted to hit twelve miles today, so I extended my usual route. By the time I made it back home, I had covered 13.2 miles! I accidentally reset my watch at about the mid-point of my run, so I don't know my overall run pace....the first half was approximately 8:45 per minute...the second, hillier half of my run was 9:30 per minute. Ouch.

My hamstrings were really talking to me during the second half of my run, and my feet started to hurt too. I really struggled on several hills. But after I messed up my timing, I decided that I'd shoot for running for two hours, and I did: I ran for two hours and eleven minutes. I took a couple of short walk breaks between miles nine and eleven, mostly because my hamstrings needed stretching. I walked with really long strides and it felt really good. Those breaks gave my tired legs a temporary reprieve.

Looking back at my running journal, I see that I had many of the same complaints the first time I ever ran seven miles. So I know that in the next month I'll adjust to this longer distance.

In the meantime, while I recover, I'm waiting for a sign as to whether or not I should buy these:



They're a bit pricey. But they're Frye! And I would rock them.

Shoulder pain

This week I started experiencing pain in my right shoulder, in a small but specific area in the front of my shoulder, right in the center. I'm not even sure when I first felt that pain, Monday maybe?

I took Monday, Wednesday and Thursday off from practice, for other reasons more than for my shoulder, but yesterday I opted to do a Hot Core Power class at the Decatur studio instead of full primary with John, as I normally do on Fridays. Hot Core is easier on the upper body than primary series. I did tripod headstand during the class and my shoulder felt fine; however, at the end I did headstand the regular way and the action of pushing into my shoulders was painful. It didn't last terribly long, and was only a very mild ache by the end of the day.

This morning I went to John's and did full primary. It didn't hurt in a specific way during practice, just a general ache, though again headstand produced a specific pain in my shoulder. All afternoon I've had an ache in my right shoulder, stronger than it's been before. It seems to have migrated to the joint, and the entire shoulder hurts.

What seems to hurt the most are small back and forth or pulling motions, like when I was shredding chicken for tacos with two forks, or when I used our wine vacuum pump to put a cork in a bottle of wine. Also, extending my arm out and back to put my jacket on is uncomfortable.

It doesn't feel severe enough to see a doctor (and I'd be paying out of pocket to do so), yet it's uncomfortable and I'm worried that continuing to practice is going to make it worse. I am loathe to take a prolonged break, because I am worried about losing all I've gained in terms of upper body strength.

NSAID's haven't helped so far. I wish I knew if this was a case of things happening in my shoulder as a result of my practice, like when I was first binding in Supta Kurmasana and my collarbones hurt all the time, or it is a bonafide injury that needs attention.

Two funny things

Will said two things that I want to remember:

"Today during PE, we did the half mile run, and I tripped over a cone and did an eggplant." (He meant faceplant.)

After collecting his t-ball snack yesterday: "Mommy, this popcorn ball has mushrooms in it." (He meant marshmallows. I have been giggling at the visual of a popcorn ball with mushrooms.)

Did a hip opener class at John's studio yesterday; haven't done one since shortly after I started practicing, and I remembered it being much more difficult then than it was yesterday. One thing I wonder: why is yogi nidrasana so much easier than supta kurmasana?