At last, it's over.

The Spring Into Summer Party and Silent Auction is done for another year. It was countless hours of work, but on the whole much less stressful than last year's event. We had perfect weather, cool & breezy, though it got hot in the facility when it got crowded. We cranked open all the old windows and we had a wonderful breeze.

Sometimes during a marathon session of working on the booklet or the bid sheets or following up on donors who had not yet delivered their donation, I had the thought that maybe it was crazy to spend so much time doing this, for nothing, except a good feeling from helping out the school. I thought of all the things I was not doing: cooking meals, keeping up with the housecleaning and laundry, reading anything in the growing stack of books next to my bed, practicing yoga as often as I would like.

By far the most stressful and frustrating part was dealing with people who promised a donation weeks and weeks ago, but as of two days before the auction had not responded to any of my emails, not even the one that said "just hit 'reply' and let me know if you are dropping off your donation at the facility Friday morning." So after I'd prepared a bid sheet for everything I had, having given up on those donors, they show up at the facility with their donations, which meant I had to run back home and re-do their bid sheets, and find room for them on the auction tables.

A few of us talked briefly about next year refusing any donations not confirmed by a week before the event. I think it's going to have to be that way if I'm going to keep my sanity. Last year's event had 50 items; this year, we had 89, about a third of which came within the last two weeks.

Cindi, my auction cohort at the other school with whom we partnered to put on this event, talked this morning and agreed that we would run the auction one more year together. After two years in the silent auction trenches, she's become a great friend. Today at Will's soccer game, I ran into a woman who lives in my neighborhood and who is co-president of the PTA at the middle school. They had a silent auction last weekend and apparently the planning was fraught with tension and unpleasant exchanges. We were so lucky that ours was all good.

We were extremely worried about turnout up until the morning of the event, because very few people opted to pre-pay for their tickets, but we needn't have worried. They came in droves and paid at the door (which cost more) and the place was jammed. Our auction raised almost $6,000...we don't know the ticket and drinks sales totals yet.

I wore my groovy new dress, which was very comfortable and fun, though I had a fresh crop of bruises from Thursday morning's led class, which was a struggle. Why can one practice be so strong and move along so lightly, then two days later it's like rolling a boulder up a mountain?

Today it was heavenly to just putter around the house, doing a little light tidying instead of a "how much can I get done in fifteen minutes" power-clean, and eating a leisurely lunch while reading the newspaper instead of wolfing my lunch at the computer while I worked.

One of the items I won at the auction was a five class card to the hot yoga studio, which the owner donated when I told her I was running the auction. This week, I plan to catch up on all the things I've wanted to do, but haven't had time for including led primary as many days as I can manage it, checking out the new Trader Joes', browsing the thrift store, watching the Netflix movies that have been languishing on the shelf, pulling weeds and planting herbs in my garden. I have both a gynecologist's appointment and a dentist's appointment this week, but I think I am going to reschedule the dentist; that's just too much unpleasantness for one week.

Practice today, in 50 words or less

Me - only student for class.
Hours of insomnia last night; little sleep with dreams of silent auction.
Options - be taught, or practice with John.
Chose practice with John.
Awesome faster pace. Full series. Binding, bending, balancing, strength - all really great.
In a word: wow!

Busier than a one-legged man at a butt kicking.

Silent auction, silent auction...last thing I do at night, first thing I do in the morning. What the hell do people who run huge auctions do about last minute donations, or donations made without much information? Do they turn them away? I figure that if you're going to have a silent auction with, say, a weekend at a beach house, or a $400 piece of artwork, you might get better results if people know about them in advance. Especially considering this auction is benefiting two fairly small, kindy thru third grade, elementary schools. We have eighty items up this year - last year we had 52 - and I'm just hoping we have good turnout, or else, as we joke, the auction committee is going to be surrounded by cool art while applying expensive skin creams, wearing handmade jewelry, eating homemade desserts, and getting smashed from donated liquor.

I'm tense and queasy at the thought of having invested so much time and energy into this event only to have it not make very much money. Having done my best, though, there's not much else I can do except let it go, right?

My last major task is preparing all the bidding sheets, which is a totally tedious job. I've done 24 of them and it's taking forever; I'm so not a word processing person! I guess in big auctions with spreadsheets and stuff they just do a mail merge or whatever, but we're small potatoes still, and I have to do it all by hand. And with each one I do a bit of dithering about opening bid, which is especially hard when I haven't even seen the item.

At any rate, I've resolved the most important issue: what I'm going to wear. ;-)
I found time today to run to DSW Shoe Warehouse, which makes me hyperventilate with excitement at the sheer size of the place. I bought two pairs of shoes - a pair of camel-colored, cork soled Born wedges to wear with a dress I already have but have never worn; I bought another pair of Nine West ankle strap wedges just because I liked them so much. Then I went to the mall to buy myself a bra, but instead I found a Studio M dress that I really liked, short and swingy matte jersey with a olive green and brown print, and it rocks with the Nine West shoes. So I'm returning the Borns and wearing the new dress and shoes. I have to say, I need to invest in more ankle strap sandals; it's a flattering look for me.

I didn't buy a bra because, true confession, I could not find one small enough. How pathetic is that? If I hadn't nursed two kids, I could just do without.

Practice? What practice?

Actually, I'm really antsy to go tomorrow because my last primary class was last Thursday. This morning I got up to do about 45 minutes before the boys got up. I was so stiff, I felt like one of Will's Harry Potter plastic figures with only four points of articulation. I could barely touch my fingers to the mat; my upper back and neck were so stiff that even by the time I got to plow, I could not touch my toes to the mat, and normally I have no problem with that.

I didn't do the whole series; just standing, a little bit of sitting, then closing including three headstands, which are coming along slowly, slowly. I'm always amazed at what engaging my uddiyada bandha does for my headstand. My legs become completely weightless.

Two more bidding sheets...then bedtime.

Mother's Little Helper

I definitely needed one this morning. All my coping mechanisms deserted me. Last night was another silent auction committee meeting which went until 10:30. I had Lee wake me this morning when he left for a run at a quarter to six so that I could email the shoppping and to-do list to the rest of the committee. I was planning to go to intermediate primary this morning, so I had to start a load of laundry so that my sweaty, stinky yogitoes would be clean for class (hot class yesterday). I also had a list of things I needed to do at school this morning, and four packs of juice boxes to send to school with Will.

At school I had to check the PTA box and about half a dozen people stopped me to tell or ask me something. I got into a conversation with the gifted teacher about his 'wish list' for AV equipment and blackout curtains, which the silent auction money will buy, and the whole time could only think "if I don't get my yoga towel into the dryer soon, it won't be ready for class".

At home I had to pull a load out of the dryer before I could put anything in, and honestly I have never had so much laundry to fold before - three huge mounds of clean clothes I just dumped on our bed. I waited until the last minute to leave, but my towel was still not dry. I grabbed it anyway and zoomed to midtown...only to get stuck in traffic. I wound through side streets and finally made it at 9:30. I got lucky and found a close spot, shoved all my change into the meter, hurried the half block to the studio, ran up three flights of stairs....and found John sitting serenly at the desk chatting with a brand new student who was the only other person there. All that rushing! I took a couple of slow, deep breaths and felt better right away.

Throughout the whole class I felt like I was trying to push myself to the limit so that I would wear myself out...like I was trying to exhaust myself and silence all the craziness, details and chatter in my head. It was a good class, though John skipped janus b & c, maris b & d, and everything between navasana and closing, because of the new guy, and because we didn't get started until 9:45.

Navasana nearly killed me. As usual. I can't seem to isolate where in my core I need to be working from...I feel it all in my quads. By the third navasana, my legs are shaking and I can't straighten them to save my life. Plus, John loves to count navasana like this: "five".......(gives a detailed adjustment to someone as a few hours go by)......"four".....(two or three months go by)........."three"....and so on.

He let us do closing at our own pace without him calling the postures, which was nice. I've decided that matsyasana is one of my favorite postures....there's something about going through the whole shoulderstand/plow/pindasana part, then lowering into matsyasana, that's really nice.

Headstand - did okay, except my arms were really tired so I went up three times, holding only for a breath or two each time.

I felt cleansed...purged.....afterward. And MUCH more calm and relaxed. Clammy, though, from my wet yogitoes towel.

99% distraction, 1% practice

My body and my mind rebelled against practice today. Last night a group of friends went out to celebrate a birthday, and two martinis didn't do me any favors this morning. Today was also the day we had to finish the Silent Auction booklet in order to get it to the printers tomorrow. I knew I had a ton to do, but I planned to do full primary at home as soon as I got the boys off to school.

One look this morning at my inbox and the sticky notes and drafts littering my desk and my stress level went way up. I put on David Swenson to practice by, but the whole time I was literally clenching my teeth and willing myself to get through it. There were a few brief moments when I was able to just be with my breath, but mostly I thought "I just want to get done with this." I felt very anxious about all I had to do. Also, our handyman/builder guy was coming at 11:30 to install our new back door, since he got rained out on Saturday, and I knew I needed to be done, showered, etc. before he got there.

I got as far as mari B before I just gave up and flipped ahead in the dvd to the closing sequence. I did all of closing, then lay in savasana for about thirty seconds.

I didn't eat breakfast before I practiced this morning, but I felt so tightly wound that I could not tell what difference it made. I was starving by the time I got to the end of my practice, but I sat down to work on the auction booklet and didn't get around to eating until almost 11:00.

I have been working on my headstand...yesterday I didn't practice, but I did practice headstand so I could work on lifting both my feet off the floor at the same time. Actually, I push off a little bit which I'm sure is not kosher. At least it looks better than when I was lifting one foot, then the other.

I've been noticing all these random bruises on me and wonder if I'm getting them in yoga....I've had this big bruise on the inside of my left ankle for a week or two. Today I pulled my legs into full lotus and and felt the bony outside of my right ankle pressing right into it. I guess that's where that bruise came from...but I also have a big one on the inside of my right elbow, and in various places on my thighs...how can I be doing this and not realizing it?

Friday night, just got paid.

We're starting the weekend off with a bang...going to what is technically a kid birthday party with a giant inflatable jumper thing with a slide, but is going to have plenty of adult diversions, ie, a keg of beer.

I did led primary classes today and yesterday....yesterday's was taught by John; he did all the standing postures, then deviated from the series and did some hip openers for the rest of the class, including dhanurasana and ustrasana. Not suprisingly, both are easier when not done in a heated room!

Today's class was taught by a brand-new teacher, Michelle. It was supposed to be an intermediate primary, but she did the entire series. I managed bhujapidasana a without falling over, for the first time ever...felt pretty steady, too. I could not do b position without putting my feet down. Kurmasana felt good, and I was really trying to bind in supta kurmasana...Michelle came over and helped my fingertips to touch, but she said "this is an adjustment that scares me". If she had crossed my legs for me, I would have been able to bind on my own. Ah, well.

Also for the first time ever, I managed to get my hands through my full lotus legs in garbha pindasana - I was kinda sweaty, which helped. Couldn't get my hands to my face, though.

I couldn't achieve headstand in class...one reason was because I was not in the back of the room like I normally am, and someone was right behind me in my line of vision. I couldn't tune out their headstand, so I struggled with mine. Got halfway, but couldn't go further. Tried again when I got home, and got it on the second attempt.

The rest of my free time for the past few days has been taken up with preparations for the silent auction in two weeks...the auction booklet is going to the printers on Monday and we've been hard at work getting it in shape. People are still coming up to me at school and saying "hey, is it too late to make a donation....?" OY!

Well, that's my fairly dull update for Friday the 13th. Tomorrow: new back door installation, soccer, housecleaning. Sunday: rain. More housecleaning. And going out with my girlfriends for dinner on Sunday night to celebrate a birthday.

I'm feeling a bit.....unfocused.

It's been a problem all day! No doubt due, in part, to the two glasses of wine I had last night after the PTA meeting, then two hours of work on the Silent Auction, after which I was unable to turn my brain off, even though it was midnight, and then being peed on by a four year old in our bed at 5 am.

I operated in a fog all morning. I walked Michael into school this morning and a mom stopped me to ask about snacks for CRCT week. I looked at her and opened my mouth to speak, but the words in my head weren't coming out of my mouth. It was as if I'd had no coffee at all when I'd had two cups already.

Lack of sleep - it's a bitch, especially when you hit forty. And my girlfriends and I have all agreed that we pretty much can't drink wine anymore. All of us felt headachy and tired today.

I briefly though of blowing off primary this morning, but felt like it would help straighten me out, and I was right. I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside, oh yeah, that morning classes at the studio are an endangered species...there were only two of us there this morning. I was wondering what I'd do if no one else showed! I'm not sure I'd have felt comfortable enough being the ONLY one in the class, even though it would have been like getting a private lesson at an absolute bargain price. Anyway, it worked with the two of us....we each got an adjustment every other posture through sitting.

I've decided that utthita parsvakonasana is near impossible to achieve unless my arm grows another inch or two. Is there some secret to this that I'm not getting? I see other people do it and they don't have a straight line from their hand to their foot - their hip goes up a bit so it's as if they are bending down to place their hand on the floor, kind of like this. I thought you were supposed to create a straight, long line from the stretched hand to the extended foot. Like this. Hmmm, I've just noticed that the guy in the last photo does not have his hand flat on the floor. So is the goal to create the long, straight line or to get the palm flat via whatever means necessary? I'll be darned if I can get my palm flat on the floor, no matter how deeply I bend into my hip, and adding the other arm stretched over my head and my head turned to look at it...well, John was twisting and pulling on me while I did it today and he was all that was keeping me from falling right over.

I did get the crown of my head on the floor today during prasaritas a & d, and during c, John adjusted me so that my arms went farther over than ever before...and I found that just relaxing and going with it was the key, rather than pushing or straining myself to do it.

The maris were fun and challenging today; I'm always surprised that when done correctly, my arms are really tired afterward. John pulled on my arms during mari b quite vigorously, while pushing me enough so that I could touch my forehead to the floor. Yowsa! It was awesome. And with his help, I got a wrist bind in mari d on the left today. Binding on the left continues to be a lot harder than binding on the right.

Navasana went on for a couple years or so, then we worked on bhujapidasana, though we focused more on working our shoulders back through our legs than we did the actual balance. Then we skipped all the way ahead to backbends, at which point I was pretty much finished off. I did two backbends, then modified bridge. We went through closing and I got a full bind in pindasana, for the first time, simply because I was as limp as a noodle, I think, and able to squash myself in tightly.

Headstand - difficult today because my arms were so tired. I got up and stayed up for a few breaths, twice, then had to give it up. Then, at last, savasana.

The boys had a friend come home for a playdate this afternoon, the highlight of which was when I set off the smoke alarm while making popcorn for them. That was followed by a meltdown by the friend when his mom came to pick him up, and then a meltown by Will, who turned out to be too hungry to control himself. These children need to have a gauge, like a gas tank, with a warning light that comes on when the level is getting too low. It would be nice not to run out of gas every other day or so!

Rainy days and Mondays...

...don't always get me down....though it's gray and very cold, today was a peaceful, quiet day and I enjoyed the solitude, with the boys back in school and Lee back at work. Back to reality tonight; I have a PTA board meeting at which next year's board elections will be held. Afterwards a few of us are going out for a glass of wine. I have a big pot of turkey and vegetable spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove, enhanced with half a bottle of cabernet that didn't get finished before we left on our trip. I know, it's shocking to consider there'd be such a thing in this house, but there it is!

Our beach vacation rocked. We had perfect weather almost the whole time. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we spent the whole of each day out on the beach. There's an estuary that connects the beach with a marsh but it gets deep very gradually making it a perfect place for kids. There was a huge stretch of wet sand, perfect for digging and building, and a large area of waist deep water which tons of kids swam in. So they could go play in the surf for a while, then go play in calm water for a while. It was great.

Thursday was a bit cooler and overcast in the morning, so that was the day we went for several long bike rides. We spent a few hours midday out on the beach, but it was quite windy so the boys weren't into playing too much.

Friday was cooler still, but gorgeous weather and in the afternoon, the boys and Lee actually swam. I stayed in my beach chair in a sweatshirt and shorts.

Saturday morning was even colder, but that was the day we were packing up to leave so it didn't matter. Saturday night, back at home, the temps went below freezing. I had to bring in all my plants. This after several weeks of afternoon temps in the eighties!

I read two and a half books during the week; The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai, which made me want to learn more about the history of India; Not Buying It: a year without shopping by Judith Levine (which I really enjoyed; it was quite funny in addition to being extremely informative and eye-opening) and I got partway through a book that Lee bought me a few weeks ago, Suite Francaise by Irene Nemirovsky, an incredible novel set in France during the German occupation of WWII. It's one of those can't-put-it-down novels, wonderfully written.

I had three practices during our trip - two in the beach house, Monday and Friday, after Lee took the boys out to the beach. I put on a Snatam Kaur CD and did full primary (though both times I forgot to roll in garbha pidasana - I was following David Swenson's book, the pages where he lays out the full series - I need to make myself a note to roll!). The first practice was particularly rocking. I got in a groove where I was right there with the postures and it just really flowed. The second practice, on Wednesday, was at a yoga studio about ten minutes from the beach. It was a teeny-tiny, but beautiful, little studio surrounded by pine woods. The website says the class limit is eight, but I don't know how they would be able to fit even that many in there. There were three of us, plus the teacher who did the class along with us, and there wasn't enough room for me to extend my arms out to the sides during surya namaskars. The class itself was okay - part vinyasa flow, part plain old hatha yoga. One woman was brand new to yoga and the other woman was quite a bit older, but experienced. She wore these baggy pajama pants patterned with margarita glasses and the phrase "lime flies when you're having fun!" which made me giggle to myself.

I worked on headstand during my two solo practices - I feel like I'm leaning too much, depending on my arms to do too much of the work of balancing. I'm still very afraid of falling over backward, which explains my slight lean toward the front. I know that I'll get over it the more I work on it and improve my balance, and my ability to get up and down smoothly.

I also did a little work in bhujapidasana, which is sometime skipped during the intermediate primary classes I take - I'm a long, long way from being able to do anything but balance upright. If I manage to work my feet together to cross, I usually topple over backward. It's one of my favorite to try, though.

I had planned to go to intermediate primary this morning, but it's a ladies holiday. I'm going tomorrow morning instead. I am really antsy to get on my mat; my body feels like it wants to move and stretch and really be pushed.

Life's A Beach.

But there's no place like home.